Thursday, 24 August 2017

Aaron's Spoiler-Free Review of Slime Rancher!

I had heard a lot about this game back when it was in its preview development stages, and to be honest, I looked at it and then thought “you know what? I’m good” and walked away.

However, when it became free during Xbox Live™ Games With Gold™ I couldn’t help but say “oh go on then, you sly old Devil”, and now I feel I can say that I’m big enough to admit when I’m being a dozy twat. I love this game, and I really wish I had put a little more money in the developers’ pockets when it was a pay-to-play game.

The premise behind Slime Rancher isn’t particularly complicated, but that’s what makes it so damned fun!

Slimes, as they are known, are little round balls of some sort of weird gelatinous liquid which is borderline solid (I can’t remember the word for what you would call that, but that’s neither here nor there at this point) that bounce around the land!

It is then your job to suck them up with your hover gun, and bring them back to your ranch to then farm, encage, feed and exploit in a family-fun way that only concentration camps can provide! You then feed them their favourite foods, sell their poo and carry on!

Now, once the ball gets rolling, the game can get somewhat repetitive and you’re left wondering “hold on a bloody minute, is this it?” and leaves you in somewhat of a bubble where novelty dries up rather quickly and… Slime! That’s the word I was trying to think of! Anyway, it leaves you wondering whether or not the novelty has worn off and that there isn’t really much more to do.

However, you suddenly find yourself unlocking new areas, upgrades, jobs, chores and expansions that just keep the ball of fun rolling until it gets bigger and bigger until it finally crashes into a city killing thousands! All the while, you’re laughing like a maniac and saying “yeah, but how cute though!”. Now, bear in mind that all of this inevitably leads you to doing a lot more of the same, but what game doesn’t?

At least with this one, you get to farm different types of adorable slimes (each of which have their own personality traits), fight off baddie slimes, farm vegetables and livestock, go treasure hunting, and even have the enjoyment of a pen-pal type storyline which only warms the heart.

Aaron's Spoiler-Free Rating: This is definitely a game that is great fun for all ages, and with its offline game mode, you can get back to a great console game that has hours of enjoyability with nothing to worry about but the grind! – 7/10


Aaron James Waters is a best-selling Pulp Fiction writer who has written more books than he's actually read.

He's also the rotten apple of the group who thinks this whole Star Wars thing needs to hurry up and die already.

You can find Aaron's debut novel on Amazon!






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