Friday 28 July 2017

The E14 Gamecast - Episode 27: The Turner!

Rob and Blake chat for about an hour about all sorts of games. Arcades! Quantum Break! Breath of the Wild! We talk about all sorts of stuff!

If you want to give us your thoughts on the games we talk about, ask us questions or even suggest topics for us to talk about, you can contact us by email using podcast@emotionally14.com, tweet @emotionally14 or find us on the Emotionally14 Facebook page! For our gaming videos, check out the E14 Plays Playlist on YouTube!

Rob is on Twitter @RobWadeVision and you can find Blake @fucksakeblake!


About The E14 Gamecast

The E14 Gamecast is a show all about games. Initially recorded as a short chat about the Titanfall beta, the crew has talked about all sorts of subjects ranging from Eurogamer Expo, the previous console generations and general comments about what they're playing at the time.

iTunes
Stitcher
Youtube


Thursday 27 July 2017

Aaron's Spoiler-Free Review of Don't Knock Twice

Okay, sports fans! As you are probably well aware by now, I am somewhat of a horror fanatic. I love the classics, the video nasties, and even some of the newer ones. So, delighted was I to find a witch-based horror movie with none other than the sexy, sexy Katee Sackhoff and cult favourite Javier Botet.

So, strap yourselves in and get ready for a double helping of wordgasm sauce all over your slutty face and chest!

So, check it! Don’t Knock Twice is a story about an urban myth where if you knock on the supposed witch’s door once, you summon her. Do it twice, however, and she comes and gets ya! Rules be simples, as be the characters, apparently.

So, troubled teen Chloe and her friend Danny go and knock on the door because teenagers are stupid, which is a scientific fact. End of. However, when the witch starts getting up to shady business, Chloe comes out of care and heads straight for estranged Mummy’s gaff out in the country where she thinks she’s safe, but of course, if she were, then this would be a crap horror film.

It is though, unfortunately, a crap horror film. This is a shame, though, because the premise of the film is a simple one, and could have been an effective one to boot. However, we are bombarded with lazy and predictable jump-scares, the atmosphere is so flat that you could bounce a coin off it, and the pacing of the film is more boring than a slab of plain Ryvita.

And other than Katee Sackhoff, who quite admirably carries the weight of this film on her shoulders and her shoulders alone, the acting is just straight up fucking terrible, which is only exacerbated by god-awful dialog.

Another huge error in this film, is when it tries to provide some sort of twist which makes absolutely no sense, and not in the form of “I didn’t get it”, but in the form of “that’s bollocks” and instead of leaving gasps of shock echoing behind it, it just leaves a ginormous plot-hole in its wake.

I wish I could find more to positive things to say about this movie, but in all honesty, I really, really can’t.

It was lazy, done to death, boring, poorly shot, and just a giant waste of time, if I’m being frank. I mean, there’s one point in the film where our leading lady writes a six-word sentence on a wall with her own blood, in huge letters too, and she’s not even dizzy or anything!

Aaron's Spoiler-Free Rating: It’s just shit! And it’s a shame, because it really didn’t have to be. – 3.5/10


Aaron James Waters is a best-selling Pulp Fiction writer who has written more books than he's actually read.

He's also the rotten apple of the group who thinks this whole Star Wars thing needs to hurry up and die already.

You can find all of Aaron's works on Amazon!





Wednesday 26 July 2017

Cloud Zombie Reviews - Mars (The TV Series, not the planet)

I'm a person who has an incredible love for Science fiction. Specifically, the whole "moving to another world and starting a colony" part of sci-fi has always turned on my geekiness.

Everyone on this planet, I would guess, has dreamed about what could be out there, what it would be like to live on a totally new planet and the hard changes that would be involved in the move. If you haven’t, then that’s fair enough and this might not be for you, but nevertheless I will continue in the hopes that some curiosity blooms inside you as you read, and encourage you to do the same.

When I first heard of this series I was a little wary because it was a documentary/science fiction series. I don’t usually mind a documentary but it really has to hold my attention enough to continue watching it. I don’t want old balding men talking at me for an hour while they show me various angles of the moon landing or photographs of Mars that are really grainy.

That has been done and is just really tired, I wanted something new and a little different and this is what I got.

The science fiction part of the series sets Mars in the not too far future of 2033, where a crew of women and men are sent to Mars aboard the first working rocket shuttle. As the series goes on you follow them through their journey to the red planet and how they learn to survive there.

The documentary side of the series talks about NASA and SpaceX’s plans for the future and what they have been working on. There are images from rocket experiments and we get to see the inner workings of these two companies that are leading Earth to a new era.

Mars has been written incredibly well. I feel the writers/creators of the show have worked very closely with the experts of NASA and SpaceX to really bring this show to life. This isn’t a half-arsed sci-fi flick from the past, and it’s not Star Trek futuristic with all the screens and flashy lights.

The insides of the shuttle look very much how they look now, a traveling life support machine, so don’t expect anything flashy like in The Martian. It’s just futuristic enough to get you excited on what we could conceivably achieve in the next twenty to thirty years.

The characters are believable and you actually become attached to them over the course of the six episode long series, after each one I wanted to know more about them and how they were coping with living on Mars. They didn’t even try to make space travel and colonisation sound remotely flashy, it’s a scary business and every step of it should not be taken for granted.

Personally, I give this series a solid 5 out of 5. It’s informative, educational and a breath of fresh air to colonisation science fiction. You can pick it up from most large entertainment shops as well as Amazon/Amazon Prime. I also hear whisperings that Mars may get a second series, I shall look forward to more news on the matter.


Kat (aka Cloud Zombie) is a daydreaming enthusiast and self-professed Minecraft/Sims junkie from Kent, England.

She blogs about her passions over at cloudzombie, covering everything from video games, movies and TV all the way to baking.



Tuesday 25 July 2017

Aaron's Spoiler-Free Review of The Void

Horror fans rejoice, because it looks as though we’ve got ourselves a banger! Took you long enough! See? I’m only a few sentences in and already I can’t contain my excitement!

For so long have I been waiting for a movie like The Void to come out and man, oh man, am I happy!

The Void is an extremely Lovecraftian tale that follows our main protagonist, Officer Carter, who comes across a young man covered in blood on a lonesome road before rushing him to hospital run by a skeleton crew staff.

Once he gets there, he finds that the entire building gets surrounded by hooded cultists that aren’t trying to get in, but are keeping the hospital's occupants from getting out!

What’s lurking within the hospital walls, might you ask? Horror stuff!

Seriously, now, I couldn’t find anything wrong with this film. I’m an old school horror nerd (that’s right, I used the ‘N’ word!) who fell in love with 80’s horror flicks such as Terrorvision, From Beyond, The Thing, just to name a few. I love a good monster movie more than a fat kid loves cake.

Just get me on the sofa, ply me with popcorn and whack on The Gate and I’m happy as sin! With The Void, however, you get all of those camp 80s undertones coupled with genuine of-its-time terror! What’s more, something I reckon all the old school horror fans like me will love and appreciate, there was minimal CGI! That’s right! The monsters are all slime and latex! Just like the good old days!

Don’t you just LOVE IT?!

Not only does it have all of these things, but it also boasts a very strong cast which immediately sucks you into the story, filled with very eerie moments to keep the audience second-guessing the whole way through. It just emancipates our inner child that cheered on the bad guys all those years!

The Void brings back a new, though long-awaited, era for Popcorn Drive-In movies, and I can’t wait to see where this leads.

Aaron's Spoiler-Free Verdict: Film of the year contender – 9.5/10


Aaron James Waters is a best-selling Pulp Fiction writer who has written more books than he's actually read.

He's also the rotten apple of the group who thinks this whole Star Wars thing needs to hurry up and die already.

You can find all of Aaron's works on Amazon!





Friday 21 July 2017

The Crazy Train Episode 52 - Englebert Flaptyback

Rob is joined by Blake, and for Episode 52 we do something a bit different - We look at things that are 52! If it was an event in 1965, or a person born in 1965, there's a good chance we talk about it in this episode (Especially if they're wrestlers - there were some busy wrestler parents in 1964!)

We also field a question from our very own Sour Crouch: Are there too many superhero movies?

Rob is on Twitter @RobWadeVision and you can find Blake @fucksakeblake!

Intro music: "Outlaw", by Deon Van Heerden. Find out more about Deon's music at Deonvanheerden.com!


About The Crazy Train

Welcome aboard The Crazy Train - Emotionally14's flagship podcast dedicated to one theme: there are no rails. Ever. Encompassing a wide range of subjects, from movies to TV to gaming, we'll give you a piece of our minds even if there's nothing in them, and you'll bloody love it. Where will the Crazy Train go?

iTunes
Stitcher
Youtube

Additional note: We're now affiliated with the Brit Pod Scene online podcast collective. Find out more at Brit Pod Scene or by searching "#BritPodScene" on Twitter!


Thursday 20 July 2017

Aaron's Spoiler-Free Review of War Machine

I am at a total loss with this film. And by that, I mean...well, I don’t know if I liked it, or balls out fucking hated it! So, without further Jews, let’s get into it!

War Machine is the true story adaptation of General Stanley McChrystal who was brought into the pinnacle heights of the war in Afghanistan to fix what the previous General could not. I can’t really go more into what happened as this is a spoiler-free review, so I will try to be as descriptive in my review whilst being as bleak as possible.

The movie is advertised as a "Black Comedy", and it is certainly that, with some very funny moments that have the subtlety of a middle-class British insult, executed perfectly! So, hats off for that.

However, as much as I love Brad Pitt, his performance in this film was the same as my opinion of the film itself – I didn’t know whether I fucking loved or hated it!

He has awesome body language and carries himself quite generally as a genuine general, in general (couldn’t help it, I had to). Let’s start again.

He plays an American General beautifully and has the stature and gravitas of a military man which works amazingly in selected scenes. However, his fake “I’m a General! I’m a General!” accent is almost as annoying as Dick Van Dyke or Don Cheadle’s cockney accents in those films we shall not mention! Ever!

On top of all this, the film just didn’t seem to go anywhere and the more it went on, the more I just wanted it to be over and done with. It just seemed to drone on and on and on and on and on. I wondered at one point if I was nearing the end of the film, and when I checked, I wasn’t even halfway through! And it’s not even a long film!

Aaron's Spoiler-Free Review: Either way, I can’t see myself going back to this film for a second watch, and if I do, I really hope it’s not for a long, long time. – 5.5/10


Aaron James Waters is a best-selling Pulp Fiction writer who has written more books than he's actually read.

He's also the rotten apple of the group who thinks this whole Star Wars thing needs to hurry up and die already.

You can find all of Aaron's works on Amazon!





Wednesday 19 July 2017

Guest Writer Cloud Zombie: The Thirteenth Doctor (Still Not Ginger)

So now we know. We have found out who the next Doctor is going to be. Of course there are more than enough people out there who didn't like the choice for various reasons. I will not go into these reasons because I really cannot be fucked with the whining that most likely follows some of them.

Let’s be positive here, people!

We all know there can be Lady-Timelords (Timeladies? Just Gallifreyans?) and although they are born to a gender there have been mentions of male Timelords choosing female and vice versa. The Corsair (the one with the snake tattoo) chose to be female a few times in his regenerations, in fact.

The Master himself chose to be a woman and became Missy. She was incredible and didn’t take away anything from the master. I found a few episode with Missy in terrifying, she wholeheartedly believes in her madness and that everything she does is to make things better for herself.

Missy actually added some depth to the character of the Master that was missing and refreshed the character as well. Don’t get me wrong, though, the cast of actors who played the Master before her were just as awesome.

Things I Am Excited For & Questions I want Answered:

  • I’m excited to see what will change within the series and if we see any returns of older Who-cast members. They already seem to be bringing back the older monsters, this would be a great time to bring back one of the unusual enemies.
  • How is the Doctor going to react to not only still not being ginger but being in a female body? The Doctor has been a man for over 2000 years (or as he says, “Rule one: The Doctor Lies”) so that’s got to be a weird sensation.
  • The Doctor has never been a woman before in the entire Doctor lifespan, will she continue to love women or will her orientation change to bisexual, or maybe straight? How exciting!
  • What clothes will the Doctor go for, we all know that there are female clothes in the dressing room in the Tardis because of all the times he has lent clothes to his female companions throughout the years. Trousers, Skirt or dress? Maybe some kind of mix between all three? Do you remember those trousers with a skirt attached from the 90’s? Well they have come back, maybe she’ll choose those.
  • In the promotional material she looks like she is still wearing the 12th Doctor's clothes because she presumably hasn’t been back to the Tardis yet.
  • What if Bill comes back and tries to find him and realises that the Doctor is no longer a man, how do you think Bill would react to this? I would like to see Bill come back as a companion at least for a little while, I feel she didn’t get enough time to grow as a character.

  • Let's hope Captain Jack doesn't get wind of this because he will most likely try it on like he does with most people, male or female!
  • Will Nordole find him/her again so that can he look after the Doctor? He didn’t want to leave him in the last episode, saying that we still have the Christmas special to go and that is the Twelfth Doctor’s last episode.
  • Will there be new companions or will she travel alone for a while to find who she is?

As you might have guessed, I'm too excited about this.

We have so much to look forward to towards the end of the year, let’s celebrate this refreshing change of pace and look forward to the new adventures. We shall say farewell to Capaldi’s Doctor and Hello to Whittaker’s Doctor in the Christmas Special.

If you are still here and actually read through, thank you for reading!


Kat (aka Cloud Zombie) is a daydreaming enthusiast and self-professed Minecraft/Sims junkie from Kent, England.

She blogs about her passions over at cloudzombie, covering everything from video games, movies and TV all the way to baking.


Tuesday 18 July 2017

Aaron's Spoiler-Free Review of Okja

That’s right, it’s that time again where everyone in their homes yell “everyone shut the fuck up, Aaron has a new review out!” So, with that being said, let’s tuck into some of that yummy, yummy fun time and get a load of these tasty word nuggets of splendour!

Okja is the one of the latest handouts from those fantastic, relevant, family fun-loving people over at Netflix (we’ll take our cheque now, thank you), and heading in, I have to say that I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect, and here’s why.

From the trailer, we see fun bubbly music, comedic scenes, and just enough action to drag you in to what looked like a family film with a moral to it. Not that there is anything wrong with that. I mean, hell, I love family films as much as the next guy! In fact, Starship Troopers is among my top ten movies! With all that said, I thought I’d go in with a totally unenveloped mind and get ready to embrace the magical journey!

Now, for those of you that don’t know, Okja is a Science Fiction/Drama about a young girl and her best friend, a specially bred Super Pig, one of twenty-six handed out all over the world to see who can raise the best super pig. However, evil, nasty corporations want to nick our lovely Okja, sending our protagonist Mija around the world to save her (this is why we don’t name them, Coral!).

So what started out at first sight as a heart-warming family fun romp actually turned out to be a blood-chilling social commentary flick about the conditions of mass-produced livestock that you want to keep the fuck away from your kids! Seriously!

Now, onto the other stuff.

There is a pretty nice line-up of actors in this movie, with one of my modern favourites, Miss Tilda Swinton, who seems to be somewhat of a shapeshifter when it comes to her unique, albeit varied, style of character acting, and still fails to disappoint here!

Jake Gyllenhaal, of whom I’m also a fan, makes his character instantly unlikable as soon as he steps on screen, but is still a great performance all the same. However, the one that really stole the show for me was Seo-Hyun Ahn, who seems to carry the audience all the way through the movie with every emotion that is humanly possible, and manages to courageously warm our hearts whilst simultaneously breaking them.

Unfortunately, I have to say, that this movie still isn’t without its hiccups. The CGI, in particular, feels quite poor considering the production’s budget. This wouldn’t normally bother me, seeing as I prefer story over effects, but when your titular character just looks like a heap of computer graphic mess, it instantly put me off and sucked some of the humanity from the film which, when it comes to the bare bones, is supposed to be this film’s message.

Alongside this, I also felt that the dialogue was weak in places, and they committed the one crime that I personally think should be punishable by crushing, which is two characters alone in a room explaining stuff they already know to one another in great depth, as though they know there is an audience watching. I fucking hate that! It’s shit and I hate it!

But if we’re going to sum up this big old beaut, I’d have to say that Okja, despite its few (not insignificant) faults, is still an all-round solid film that grabs your attention from start to finish, and is one I believe people (especially the artsy-fartsy super-liberal types, those fucking folks eh?) will be talking about for years to come.

Aaron's Spoiler-Free Rating: All round - Why is Tilda so sexy? I can’t put my finger on it, but my word I wish I could. Phwoooaaaaarrrrrr! - 7/10


Aaron James Waters is a best-selling Pulp Fiction writer who has written more books than he's actually read.

He's also the rotten apple of the group who thinks this whole Star Wars thing needs to hurry up and die already.

You can find Aaron's debut novel, Carbon Based Lifeforms on Amazon!




Sunday 16 July 2017

E14 Toybox #49 - Booster Battle! Guardians Of The Galaxy Marvel Heroclix Unboxing (Round 5)

It's time for Booster Battle! Rob is joined by Joe "Sour" Crouch for a Best of 5 of the best variety - the kind with Clix!

Joe and Rob are taking on a classic from the Marvel Heroclix line, a "Guardians of the Galaxy" brick! While this is an older one, there are some awesome figures available. The question is...

What's inside?


The E14 Toybox is a video show hosted by Rob Wade, dedicated to the pursuit and unveiling of fun geeky products. From subscription boxes like Zavvi's Zbox, to Wizkids Heroclix figures, Rob takes the unknown and reveals the mystery within for your enjoyment!


Saturday 15 July 2017

E14 Toybox #48 - Booster Battle! Guardians Of The Galaxy Marvel Heroclix Unboxing (Round 4)

It's time for Booster Battle! Rob is joined by Joe "Sour" Crouch for a Best of 5 of the best variety - the kind with Clix!

Joe and Rob are taking on a classic from the Marvel Heroclix line, a "Guardians of the Galaxy" brick! While this is an older one, there are some awesome figures available. The question is...

What's inside?


The E14 Toybox is a video show hosted by Rob Wade, dedicated to the pursuit and unveiling of fun geeky products. From subscription boxes like Zavvi's Zbox, to Wizkids Heroclix figures, Rob takes the unknown and reveals the mystery within for your enjoyment!


Friday 14 July 2017

The E14 Gamecast - Episode 26: Horizon (Almost) Zero Complaints!

Rob and Blake talk for a fair while about one of their games of 2017 so far: Horizon Zero Dawn. What do they like about this PS4 exclusive game?

If you want to give us your thoughts on the games we talk about, ask us questions or even suggest topics for us to talk about, you can contact us by email using podcast@emotionally14.com, tweet @emotionally14 or find us on the Emotionally14 Facebook page! For our gaming videos, check out the E14 Plays Playlist on YouTube!

Rob is on Twitter @RobWadeVision and you can find Blake @fucksakeblake!

Note: Still a small amount of mic bleed, hopefully it doesn't detract too much from the discussion! We are figuring this stuff out as our kit improves!

Additional note: We're now proudly affiliated with the Brit Pod Scene online podcast collective. Find out more at Brit Pod Scene or by searching "#BritPodScene" on Twitter!

About The E14 Gamecast

A place to find the gaming content for Emotionally14. We'll talk reviews, excitement, upcoming releases - Hell, we'll even play a few! If gaining perspective on Team E14's gaming habits is your bag, this is the place you can get that fix!





Thursday 13 July 2017

Aaron's Spoiler-Free Review of THE CONJURING 2

Remember when Dick Van Dyke pranced about giving it the old “Waheeeey! I’m a cockney! I’m a cockney! Apples and pears, butcher’s hook, you prissy little wankahhhh!”? Well, The Conjuring 2 isn’t much better.

You can tell, straight off the bat, that all the British dialogue was written by our American cousins, to the point where it just leaves you shaking your head (it’s bloody well annoying it is, guv’nor, that’s for troof!).

However, it’s not just the bad dialog that grated me in this film, but also the wording itself, like when we meet two of our young ladies, they speak to one another as though they are trying to explain some background info to an invisible third party. Example: “I’m giving you the spirit board we both made together” as opposed to “Here’s our spirit board”.

It's especially grating seeing as, five minutes later, our leading young lady explains to her sister that she and her friend Camilla made it in school. Just bad writing, if you ask me, and you sort of did by reading this. Fair is fair.

There is also a large volume of extremely irritating clichés and cheap gimmicks that the first movie forced down our throats, which we are now left to endure a second helping of, and a few extra entrees that took very little imagination to conjure up (I couldn’t resist), like how the channel changes by itself, and suddenly the remote isn’t where she left it (insert ghost noises and rattling chains here).

The acting is also pretty sub-par as well, which just leaves the entire flick feeling hollow with zero substance, even from seasoned actors Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga, who have proved their worth many times over before this film.

There were a few moments that grab you and make you jump, of course, but this is again down to cheap tricks and jump scares that have zero unpredictability, each and every one of them expected. Instead of relying on a genuinely unsettling atmosphere, it makes you wonder if this cheap tripe is what they were deliberately going for, or if good writing just seemed too much like hard work (ooh, there’s a noise behind the door – opens door – nothing there, oh shit it's behind them! Yawn).

Aaron's Spoiler-Free Verdict: If you want a good film, don’t bother. If you want one to watch whilst entertaining guests, maybe this will fill the gap. – 5.5/10


Aaron James Waters is a best-selling Pulp Fiction writer who has written more books than he's actually read.

He's also the rotten apple of the group who thinks this whole Star Wars thing needs to hurry up and die already.

You can find all of Aaron's works on Amazon!





Tuesday 11 July 2017

Aaron's Spoiler-Free Review of KILL LIST

We’ve all seen those movies, I'm sure, where a retired Hitman is made to come out of retirement for one last job, and it’s always the one that goes ruddy well tits-up in an orgasm of gunfire and backflips.

Well, hold your breath for just one moment, you slag, because this British crime-thriller infused occult horror flick just turned the brutality volume up to eleven and grabs your attention until the credits roll!

Now, I avoided this film for quite some time, hearing nothing but pants reviews and opinions from people, despite the fact that I’m a big fan of leading man Neil Maskell and his supporting player, Michael Smiley. There are creepy undertones from the very beginning of this film and you find yourself asking questions throughout, even afterwards, which is something I love when it is done right, and boy does this film do it right!

Another great and refreshing aspect of this independent British horror, which is something that – more often than not – gets left out in the production, is three-dimensional characters that actually come to life on the screen, which isn’t just down to the brilliant acting, but also a testament to good writing.

There is also a bloody fantastic amount of violence which is executed perfectly on the screen to make you wince and laugh with gruesome satisfaction, leaving you rubbing your hands together and nodding along as our protagonist kicks some wholesale arse without the need to take down their names.

There is also a very dry sense of humour about the film as well, which I am sure British audiences will rejoice at, but not too much that it steers away from the extremely dark premise of this pulse-raising rollercoaster of pure cinematic grit.

However, don’t just go into this film thinking that all you’re getting is a gore-fest that has been sanded down at the edges, because that is not the case at all. There are some very deep psychological elements to this film that take otherwise type-casted actors and actresses and throw them into a maelstrom of cleverly thought out plot twists and situations that are way too far out of their comfort zones, which each and every member proves their mettle in this very class piece of cinema.

Aaron's Spoiler-Free Rating: A gritty and under-appreciated popcorn flick that doesn’t just demand your attention, but steals it and keeps it, even days after the credits have rolled. – 8/10


Aaron James Waters is a best-selling Pulp Fiction writer who has written more books than he's actually read.

He's also the rotten apple of the group who thinks this whole Star Wars thing needs to hurry up and die already.

You can find all of Aaron's works on Amazon!





Sunday 9 July 2017

E14 Toybox #47 - Booster Battle! Guardians Of The Galaxy Marvel Heroclix Unboxing (Round 3)

It's time for Booster Battle! Rob is joined by Joe "Sour" Crouch for a Best of 5 of the best variety - the kind with Clix!

Joe and Rob are taking on a classic from the Marvel Heroclix line, a "Guardians of the Galaxy" brick! While this is an older one, there are some awesome figures available. The question is...

What's inside?


The E14 Toybox is a video show hosted by Rob Wade, dedicated to the pursuit and unveiling of fun geeky products. From subscription boxes like Zavvi's Zbox, to Wizkids Heroclix figures, Rob takes the unknown and reveals the mystery within for your enjoyment!


Saturday 8 July 2017

E14 Toybox #46 - Booster Battle! Guardians Of The Galaxy Marvel Heroclix Unboxing (Round 2)

It's time for Booster Battle! Rob is joined by Joe "Sour" Crouch for a Best of 5 of the best variety - the kind with Clix!

Joe and Rob are taking on a classic from the Marvel Heroclix line, a "Guardians of the Galaxy" brick! While this is an older one, there are some awesome figures available. The question is...

What's inside?


The E14 Toybox is a video show hosted by Rob Wade, dedicated to the pursuit and unveiling of fun geeky products. From subscription boxes like Zavvi's Zbox, to Wizkids Heroclix figures, Rob takes the unknown and reveals the mystery within for your enjoyment!


Friday 7 July 2017

The Crazy Train - Episode 51: Daddy Porn Strowman!

Rob is joined by Omer and Blake! We invent some new pormography (not a typo, not really), pitch a Braun Strowman reality show and talk about our favourite actors! Along the way, Rob goes to a barbecue and his car likes it so much it stays!

Shout-outs go to The Minutia Men for their lovely 5 Star Review, and to the Master Debaters for their great questions.

Rob is on Twitter @RobWadeVision, Omer is @TheIronTurkOmer and you can find Blake @fucksakeblake!

Note: Apologies that there are some dodgy audio moments, particularly around echo! We've been tinkering with our kit as we go along, and regrettably it ends up having issues sometimes! Hopefully future episodes will not have this issue.

Intro music: "Outlaw", by Deon Van Heerden. Find out more about Deon's music at Deonvanheerden.com!


About The Crazy Train

Welcome aboard The Crazy Train - Emotionally14's flagship podcast dedicated to one theme: there are no rails. Ever. Encompassing a wide range of subjects, from movies to TV to gaming, we'll give you a piece of our minds even if there's nothing in them, and you'll bloody love it. Where will the Crazy Train go?

iTunes
Stitcher
Youtube


Thursday 6 July 2017

Aaron’s Spoiler-Free review of FROM THE DARK

Now, I’m a man who is somewhat obsessed with folklore, especially when it’s blended with a good ol’ bit o’ horror. So, when I found out that From the Dark was a folklore tale of the Irish variety, I just had to jump on board!

From the Dark is a simple premise of two young lovers, Sarah and Mark, visiting the Irish countryside when their car breaks down and Mark goes off on his own to find help. He comes across an old country home where he lets himself in and finds an injured old man and yes, I can tell by your face that you’re bored already and you know exactly where this is going.

Yup, it’s a movie that’s been done a thousand times before and that's probably just in this past week alone. From the Dark offers absolutely nothing in the originality department, in fact borrowing at least half the script from other films, and the rest is merely compiled from The Horror Vault of Clichés.

The direction is pretty pants as well, throwing in a calamity of inconsistencies that make this already mundane vampire-esque flick all the more unenjoyable to the point where you just find yourself sighing (a prime example, one of the characters hurts their shoulder, which suddenly means they have a limp. Makes sense).

However, one saving grace has to be from our leading couple, portrayed by Niamh Algar and Stephen Cromwell (or Non-Conventional Name and More Conventional Name), who give pretty bloody good performances, for which I can imagine they were very tragically underpaid. It’s also hard to take our villain seriously as he seems to heavily arm himself with pantomime-styled theatrics that just leave you rolling your eyes as he totters around like a Disney animated penguin (not even joking).

Pretty short review, I know, but this small casted, painfully obviously low budget shite-fest (if I’m to don the Irish accent for a moment) left me feeling rather ripped off in the sense of paying extravagantly for a lavish meal and still walking away hungry for something else entirely. At this point, the kebab house with the girl behind the counter who only has half a face, with the injury still fresh, seems more palatable.

Aaron's Spoiler-Free Verdict: I love independent British horror, but this was just straight up lazy. 3.5/10

Aaron James Waters is a best-selling Pulp Fiction writer who has written more books than he's actually read.

He's also the rotten apple of the group who thinks this whole Star Wars thing needs to hurry up and die already.

You can find all of Aaron's works on Amazon!