Thursday 20 July 2017

Aaron's Spoiler-Free Review of War Machine

I am at a total loss with this film. And by that, I mean...well, I don’t know if I liked it, or balls out fucking hated it! So, without further Jews, let’s get into it!

War Machine is the true story adaptation of General Stanley McChrystal who was brought into the pinnacle heights of the war in Afghanistan to fix what the previous General could not. I can’t really go more into what happened as this is a spoiler-free review, so I will try to be as descriptive in my review whilst being as bleak as possible.

The movie is advertised as a "Black Comedy", and it is certainly that, with some very funny moments that have the subtlety of a middle-class British insult, executed perfectly! So, hats off for that.

However, as much as I love Brad Pitt, his performance in this film was the same as my opinion of the film itself – I didn’t know whether I fucking loved or hated it!

He has awesome body language and carries himself quite generally as a genuine general, in general (couldn’t help it, I had to). Let’s start again.

He plays an American General beautifully and has the stature and gravitas of a military man which works amazingly in selected scenes. However, his fake “I’m a General! I’m a General!” accent is almost as annoying as Dick Van Dyke or Don Cheadle’s cockney accents in those films we shall not mention! Ever!

On top of all this, the film just didn’t seem to go anywhere and the more it went on, the more I just wanted it to be over and done with. It just seemed to drone on and on and on and on and on. I wondered at one point if I was nearing the end of the film, and when I checked, I wasn’t even halfway through! And it’s not even a long film!

Aaron's Spoiler-Free Review: Either way, I can’t see myself going back to this film for a second watch, and if I do, I really hope it’s not for a long, long time. – 5.5/10

Aaron James Waters is a best-selling Pulp Fiction writer who has written more books than he's actually read.

He's also the rotten apple of the group who thinks this whole Star Wars thing needs to hurry up and die already.

You can find all of Aaron's works on Amazon!

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