Friday 12 June 2009

E14 Exchange

Rob: The Beatles' Sergeant Pepper album doesn't have an album picture on iTunes. I mean, of all the albums...
Brad: I still maintain that Emma Watson is slowly starting to look more and more like Orlando Bloom.

Rob: You still would though, wouldn't you?
Brad: I've never been particularly taken with her, tbh.
However, here's a philosophical point:
If you had sex with Orlando Bloom, but called him "Emma" throughout...would you still be gay?
Rob: Dunno.
I've never fucked orlando bloom
Brad: We should. For research purposes.
I'll try and find his agent.
We can add another celebrity to the list I'm not allowed near.
Rob: Sounds like a plan
You do need to pad that list out.
Brad: Natalie Portman, Emma Watson, Orlando Bloom, Sam Neill, Anne Hathaway, Sylvester Stallone…and
Rutger Hauer.


Brad: Phone in sick to work and play Android. Or I'll kill your children.
Rob: Go ahead
Gotta find em first
Brad: If you don't think I have the patience to wait until you get married and have a family before making good on the above threat then, dear sir, you don't know me at all.
There's a word for people like you, you know.
Rob: Go on.
Brad: "Grown-up."
Which is a compound more than a word, so the joke's on them really


Brad: It's a dark moment when you realise that the closest you can possibly come to being with the love of your life is that she might sign your Star Wars stuff if you ask nicely.
Traviss is your one true love? really?
Brad: A joke made slightly funnier as this was the image that immediately came to mind:

Rob: Hawwwt.
Brad: This fucking sucks. This is why I don't watch movie adaptations of books anymore. Especially not awesome books.
Rob: Dude, it's like 5 minutes in, unless they changed the name of “The Other Boleyn Girl” to Jeff, I don't see how they could upset you so quickly.

Rob: Pot Noodles are FTW
Brad: Really? I always think they taste more of Epic Fail.
Rob: I like them personally.
How is epic fail supposed to taste out of interest?
Brad: Kind of like a dusty and stale Chow Mein, in my experience.
Rob: Dusty?
You know you're supposed to add boiling water right?
Brad: Oh.
That might make it taste nicer, to be honest.
Rob: Yeah, that's sort of the idea.

Brad Harmer and Rob Wade will be appearing LIVE AND UNSCRIPTED at the Command House in Chatham for "Goats on a Boat III: Goat Boat with a Vengeance" on July 11th at 8pm.


  1. 'Brad Harmer and Rob Wade will be appearing LIVE AND UNSCRIPTED at the Command House in Chatham for "Goats on a Boat III: Goat Boat with a Vengeance" on July 11th at 8pm.'

    -- Dear, sweet, baby Jesus! ANOTHER goddamned Sanity Roll to make! Why, Lord, WHY???

    People ask me why I find playing 'Call Of Cthulhu' and 'Arkham Horror' so genuinely scary. Well, the scary thing is how closely it resembles my actual life...

  2. Another? I don't believe you've turned up to one before...

  3. I bought the damned CDs though, didn't I?

    Anyway, there's something very strange about paying to see you and Rob talk crap for two hours when that pretty much describes my normal social life.