Friday, 18 November 2011

E14 Exchange

Rob : I hate people sometimes.
Brad: I hate some people all times.
Rob : That's also fair.

Brad: I hate this fucking PC.
Rob : I'm testing on my own phone today.
Brad: Hope they pay your bill.
Rob : I've got a data plan, I'm good.
Brad: They don't need to know that.

Rob : I wish I’d known about this on Tuesday.
Brad: Is this for real?
Rob : Scarily so.
Brad: With a bit of effort, this could have made a great parody.
Rob : I know. It's terrifying that it exists.
Brad: It's terrifying that no-one, at any point, pointed out what a stupid idea it is. I'd be like "Riskay? Do people really talk this way? More to the point, what is it going to prove? Surely it's just going to smell of dick? Unless it smells of poop, I guess. Then you've probably got a case. Or an infection. In any event, no-one is coming out of this song looking good. I was going to say 'smelling of roses' but I was aware that would probably only compound the problem."

Rob : I like that she says "Can I smell yo dick? Oh, if I'm polite it won't sound retarded."
Brad: Maybe we're underestimating her.
Rob : How could we do that?
Brad: You know how Sherlock Holmes could identify any brand of cigar from the ash? Maybe she can identify...the type of...thing...from the scent of...She's an idiot. It's cute she think it's a fool-proof method. "Yeah, because he won't have showered afterward."
Rob : I never understood that logic. Surely if he comes through the door looking fresh, you're pretty much fucked.

Brad: Maybe we're misinterpreting it. Maybe it's not CSI: Underpants, so much as: "Something stinks in here. What the hell is that? Barry? Is that your dick I can smell? Can I smell your dick?"
Rob : "Oh my....did you fuck a decaying whale carcass?"
Brad: One time. One time. Is this a hipster?
Rob : Not from that video, but looking at her other videos and favourites, undoubtedly. That is a hipster.
Brad: I'm still not 100% on what a hipster is.
Rob : The kind of person who'd put the original sentiment in these.
Brad: This is my new favourite webpage. It's kind of emo, then?
Rob : Yeah, I guess.
Brad: She probably thinks she's really funny because she did that.
Rob : Without doubt.
Brad: She probably also has a boyfriend who quotes Family Guy all the time, and she loves him because "he's just so random".

Brad: What is it with CG blood, recently? How can it be cheaper to produce than fake blood?
Rob : We talked about this last night after you left. I hate unnecessary CG because it's probably more expensive than just doing it properly.
Brad: Yeah, they do it because they can, rather than stopping to consider if they *should*.

Brad: Just read an update on Facebook: "Cannot believe how quickly a 20 month old can wreck a house".
Rob : Literally?
Brad: Tempted to say. "That's nothing. I'll rent a demolition ball and show you how quickly a house can wreck a 20 month old."
Rob : Outstanding.
Brad: I have to tone that shit down, though. Facebook is really starting to make me look like a Tesco Value Supervillain. With a shit moustache.
Rob : Yes! There's my new gimmick. SmartPrice Joker.
Brad: LidlMan.
Rob : Nanananananana NettoBoy. Two-TasteTheDifference.
Brad: Asda al-Ghul
Rob : Morrisons Man - "You'll never beat me the Safe Way!"
Brad: These aren't the bargains the city needs, but they're the ones it deserves.
Rob : "What will you do?" "We'll roll him back...Because he can take it…and compare it against prices of other superheroes, and get 10% of the difference back."

Rob : What did you score Plants vs Zombies? My battery'd die if I tried the web on my phone.
Brad: 6. It's okay, but I played for over six hours and aced *every* level on the first attempt.
Rob : Fair enough.
Brad: And I SUCK at games.
Rob : Yeah, remember that time I whooped your ass at NHL?
Brad: ...No.
Rob : Really? It was like 13-6 or something.
Brad: I was playing as the Leafs! It's obviously just a very accurate simulation!
Rob : I was playing as the Raptors! It's not even their sport of choice!

Rob : Hooray, third well-known reply on Twitter.
Brad: Nice. Who?
Rob : Hilary Goldstein, ex-IGN US Editor in chief.
Brad: Stretching the definition of "well-known" a bit, isn't it?
Rob : He ran one of the most popular entertainment sites in the world.
Brad: I couldn't name the editorial team of *any* website. I'm a bit blurry on E14.
Rob : Editorial is you and Brian, isn't it?
Brad: Probably. The Doctor and Omer help out. You make the tea.
Rob : Wow, I wish I'd known that when we started. You still thirsty?
Brad: I can wait until after Brian dies of dehydration.
Rob : You did tell him he can drink other things, right?
Brad: What am I? His line manager?
Rob : Well I'm not. I make the tea!

Brad: Watching an anime. One character has a wobbly jelly noise accompanying her every time her tits or butt are in shot.
Rob : Christ.
Brad: I wouldn't mind if it were played for laughs, but in the main it's kind of a 'The Walking Dead' thing.
Rob : Mine didn't have that. Mine did have about eight separate (but identical) pairs of jugs.
Brad: I don't get anime.

*Rob and Brad were playing a game on Twitter, where #Bmovie was trending – Examples:
Rob : Can you think of any movies with a paedophile in them (and ideally a foreigner)?
Brad: Leon?
Rob : Not a paedophile foreigner.
Brad: Apart from being a French bloke who bangs an underage Natalie Portman?
Rob : I mean two different characters.
Brad: What?!
Rob : Never mind.
Rob : I was trying to think of a good B-movie gag for Alien vs Predator.
Brad: Ah, gotcha.

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