Friday, 5 November 2010

E14 Exchange: Star Wars Special

Brad: I'm trying to think of the Star Wars autographs I'll never get, and - barring dead people - there's actually only about four of them. That's not too bad.
Rob: Who's the four?
Brad: Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Liam Neeson & Harrison Ford.
Rob: What makes you think those are unattainable?
Brad: Do you ever see them doing in-store appearances/conventions?
Rob: Why don't you just write to them?
Brad: Can you do that?
Rob: I assume so, my sister got Noel Edmonds' autograph that way.
Brad: Yeah, with respect to Mr Edmonds...that's not quite the same league is it?
Rob: Aside from Star Wars, isn't it? "Ooh Mr Ford, I loved Hollywood Homicide!"
Brad: Indiana Jones...
Rob: I'm talking recently. The most recent thing he did of note that I can think of is to pretend to be gay in a Jimmy Kimmel comedy music video.
Brad: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? Berk.
Rob: Oh yeah, the hallmark of quality!
Brad: The Jimmy Kimmel video was awesome. It was four minutes of putting Sarah Silverman in her unfunny place.
Rob: See, I'm all for that, especially more so since they broke up.


Brad: You go by "Robert" now?
Rob: Eh? Oh, no, it's just my display name. I actually go by "Monkjab".
Brad: I thought you'd changed it from "Rob" to "Robert", in a desperate attempt to get yourself taken seriously.
Rob: Yeah, that’ll do the trick.

Rob: The guys who are moving my stuff are so good. If I had a baby, I’d trust them to rugby pass it to each other across a ravine.


Rob: If I see a Timothy Zahn book, I assume it's been written with Thrawn. Not as a collaborative thing, he's just always in them. Does Zahn do other licensed stuff? I wonder if Thrawn turns up in it.
Brad: Yeah, I think he did a Terminator book (which E14 have since reviewed here - ed.), but Zahn is nowhere near as bad as Stackpole. He has the horn for Horn.
Rob: "John Connor felt himself turn blue as the Terminator choked him, but hadn't expected to develop a keen knowledge of military tactics based entirely on a species' artwork".

Brad: What are you so busy with anyway? Don't you just bum around all day pretending to work and browsing Wookiepedia?
Rob : I do quite a bit of in-depth browsing, I'll have you know.
Brad: I KNOW ALL THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT JORJ CARDAS!
Rob : The sad thing is that I really don't have a specialist subject anymore.
Brad: You had one before?
Rob : Geek of all trades, I guess. Yeah, I was particularly bad-ass on Star Wars at one point. To the point that I owned (and started) the Diplomatic Corps Entrance Exam.
Brad: You just drifted away. What you know, you know. You just didn't really keep up after New Jedi Order era.
Rob : True. Thanks for believing in me, man.
Brad: I recommend the Clone Wars novels.
Rob : Dude, if you were a vicar, you'd recommend them!
"Forgive me father, for I have sinned."
"Say three 'hail Marys' and read Order 66."
Brad: You can use the title Rev legally, you know that? There's no qualifications required.
Rob : Really?
Brad: Yeah. So long as you don't then pretend to be of any already existing church, then yeah, it's perfectly legal. It's also legal to call yourself "Doctor".
Rob : Surely not.
Brad: Yeah, you can call yourself doctor as much as you want. It only becomes illegal if you then a) practice medicine, or b) claim to own a PhD or other diploma. Then it becomes fraud.
Rob : Oh ok. That makes sense. What about calling yourself Master Chief?
Brad: I don't know. See, that's a real military rank, so there may be some legality there.
Rob : It's not, is it?
Brad: Yeah.
Rob : Are you sure?
Brad: Check it out
Rob : WOW.
Brad: No, that's Halo.
Brad: “Kriffing” is such a stupid sounding swear word.
Rob : From Star Wars you mean? Yeah, I couldn’t agree more.
Brad: I don’t get it. In Legacy era they use “kark”, and in The Old Republic era they use “stang”. At least those are percussive words that end on a hard consonant. It’s virtually impossible to say “kriff” with any venom without sounding like Moss from The I.T Crowd.


Brad: Need title ideas for my bi-annual Star Wars EU release round-up.
Rob : I’ll have a think and get back to you.
Brad: Good. It would be unfortunate if I had to leave a garrison here.

Time passes...

Brad: Uh...I got “Jedi Business”?
Rob : Works for me, I’ve got no better.
Brad: Apathy FTW.
Rob : I keep coming up with ones that are just too fucking obscure.
Brad: Such as…?
Rob : “The Wish-List of Dathomir”?
Brad: They need to create a word to describe something that’s both painfully lame and geektastically awesome at the same time.
Rob : I’m fairly sure we created a site to describe it.


DEAD OF NIGHT GIVEAWAY

Dead of Night is the role-playing game of campfire tales, slasher movies and B-Movie horror. It is a game of screaming victims, unstoppable killers and slavering monsters, where the horror movie cliches flow thicker than blood and the only victory is survival.

Dead of Night is designed to be easy to learn and quick to play, with rules that help you tell horror stories without getting in the way of the fun. The rules are simple and straighforward, yet offer al the options and depth to allow you to customise the game however you like.

Thanks to our friends at Cubicle 7, we've got a copy of Dead of Night (2nd Edition) to give away! For your chance of winning, send your name and full postal address to deadofnightgiveaway@yahoo.co.uk before midday on Friday 12th November. The first name pulled out of the electronic hat will win this awesome prize!

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