Wednesday 9 September 2009

Celebrity Twitters: Jonathan Harker

Left Munich at 8:35 P. M, on 1st May, arriving at Vienna early next morning; should have arrived at 6:46, but train was an hour late.

Left in pretty good time, and came after nightfall to Klausenburgh. Have stopped for the night at the Hotel Royale. Bit nippy, though.

@hotmina The chicken here is FTW. I’ve gotten the recipe for you, you’re going to love it. Missing you loads, babe. xxx

@countd Should be there soon. Your place isn’t anywhere on Google Earth, though, ROFL!

@countd Cheers, a personal carriage would be awesome! Pick me up just outside Borgo Pass, yeah?

Have been picked up by strange man in high speed carriage. The horses ride like the devil himself were on them. Suspect driver is loopy.

Arrived at Castle Dracula. It looks a little older than I was expecting, but the Count seems like an absolute dude.

Excellent roast chicken. This, with some cheese and a salad and a bottle of old tokay, of which I had two glasses, was my supper.

All in a sea of wonders. I think strange things, which I dare not confess to my followers. God keep me, if only for those dear to me!

Excellent breakfast, but I’m having a devil of a time trying to find a shaving mirror.

@countd Yes, found the breakfast fine, thanks. Look forward to chat this evening? BTW, Have you got a mirror anywhere?

Fun evening with #countd. I can wander round the castle as I please, long as I don’t go through a locked door. What an accommodating host!

I began to fear as I tweeted that I was getting too diffuse. But am glad I went into detail. Something strange about this place that I cannot but feel uneasy.

@hotmina – Yes, babe, you were right! I did have a shaving mirror in my pack! What would I do without you?

Count Dracula threw away my shaving mirror.

@hotmina Hey, babe. How do you feel about beards?

Things are getting a little weird. I was okay with D’s proviso, but it seems like every door here it locked. Good thing I have my DS.

In no place save from the windows in the castle walls is there an available exit. The castle is a veritable prison, and I am a prisoner!

It is no use making my ideas known to the Count. He imprisoned me himself, and doubtless has motives for it. He is off my FaceBook friends.

@hotmina If you get any messages from someone called “hotvampirebitches”, they’re so full of it. Don’t listen.

Saw The Count emerge from the window and crawl down the wall over the dreadful abyss, face down with his cloak spread out like great wings.

Found undead Count in the basement. Begin to suspect that there is more to this than meets the eye.

@abrahamvanh Can you give me a call when you have a minute? I think I have a bit of a situation here.


  1. Simply brilliant. I'm filing this one under 'ideas I really, really wish I'd had'.

  2. Nicely done. If you want to see my version check out @JHarkerEsq and the rest of the characters @realtimedracula.