Thursday 9 November 2017

Aaron's Spoiler-Free Review of "The Bad Batch"

There are some great movies out there that take the post-apocalyptic premise and manage to wrangle it into a cult classic. We have the likes of Mad Max, Turbo Kid, A Boy and His Dog, and I really would love to throw the Netflix Original The Bad Batch in with that list, only I can’t, because I don’t know what the bloody hell it is.

I’d love to give you a basic plot outline, only I can’t because it almost seems impossible. I never thought I would ever see a film that didn’t have a beginning, a middle nor an end, yet here we are! And with a cast that boasts the likes of Jason Momoa, Keanu Reeves, Jim Carrey and Giovanni Ribisi, I thought to myself “hold on a bloody minute, by Jove I think we have something!” And nope, we really didn’t.

There was a lot of walking in this film. Seriously, our two leads like to go on long, mysterious walks with no destination in mind. Kind of like this film, really.

Another thing worth mentioning is our leading lady, Suki Waterhouse, who err…yeah. The only credit I can really give her is the fact that she was in the bloody thing!

I think what annoys the most about this film is that it could have been brilliant! Convicts are thrown into the desert, girl gets captured/half eaten by cannibals, girl escapes, let the battle commence! But no. No, we don’t get that. In fact, after the first 10 minutes, we then get another hour and fifty minutes of “screw story, who needs that?” Whilst it screams “please love me! I can be cult! Look how artsy I am” when all we get given is minimal (and shit) dialogue, people walking, people dancing and long shots of landscapes.

Aaron's Spoiler-Free Rating: To say this film was boring would be an understatement, and to be honest, it’s merely nothing but a two hour film that had every opportunity to tell a story that just doesn’t bother. So with that in mind, neither should you. 2/10

Aaron James Waters is a best-selling Pulp Fiction writer who has written more books than he's actually read.

He's also the rotten apple of the group who thinks this whole Star Wars thing needs to hurry up and die already.

You can find Aaron's debut novel on Amazon!

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