Monday, 19 June 2017

Aaron’s Spoiler-Free (Even Though it’s Impossible to Spoil Based on Premise and Mechanics) Review of Friday The 13th: The Game

The moon is up and so are the tension levels in this absolutely muddy-ruddy-bloody good take on the old school, childhood survival horror classic: Hide N’ Seek. Still, seeing as we’re British and nothing is ever quite complete without a ruddy good moan, let’s get that out of the way, shall we? Excellent! Then here goes!

Yes, I am well aware of the match lobbying system, and yes, it sucks. I fully support those of you who are on the picket lines about this, as I am a firm believer of “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” and an even stronger believer in “if it’s broke, don’t charge me thirty-two fucking pounds for it”. However, after a quick cheat (on Xbox) by going to the game hub and just adding a load of people in the “Looking for Groups” section, I was well on my way to enjoying the perks of this charming little manhunter (sorry, peoplehunter. Fucking snowflakes).

Now on to the good stuff!

Are the graphics up to scratch with our current-gen standard? Not by a long shot, but unlike some people, I play games for the fact that it’s a game, and if the graphics are good it’s a bonus! If the graphics are awesome but your game is shit, I’m not gonna say “I hated this but the graphics make it my favourite game”. That being said, however, the graphics aren’t bad either! The maps themselves are pretty impressive when it comes to texturing and even size, and the way the moon bounces off the lake (yeah, you know the one I’m on about) gives you that awesome little chill that delivers just the right amount of boner (or moistness - fucking snowflakes).

The music also ramps up the excitement with its random strokes of eerie violin that make you look over your shoulder to see if Kane Hodder is behind you (that’s right, they got one of the (and most famous amongst fans, respectively) actors to play the animated Jason Voorhees).

The executions are well-executed with great execution (couldn’t help it, and I regret nothing) with awesome weapon varieties and animations, from the crotch-chop (exactly how it sounds) to picking up a sleeping bag where a counsellor is hiding and smashing it against a tree. Don't ya just luvvit! There’s also quite a nice little levelling-up system in the game with unlockables and goodies to give this very basic, albeit effective, game some serious replay value.

The three maps available right now are all stunning and the different Jason variations are more than a welcome treat to keep any fan of the franchise smiling. As mentioned before, the game is very basic but that’s what makes this work so well! One friend as Jason, the rest of you go and hide and keep to the shadows as you try and plot your escape from the slow-moving behemoth that is the J-Man! However, don’t be fooled by his speed as his perks can soon have him teleporting and fast travelling all over the gaff!

So, keep one eye over your shoulder at all times.

Aaron's Spoiler-Free Rating - Great atmosphere and a bundle of laughs for a party of friends of an evening that’s almost reminiscent of a good, old fashioned movie night! – 7.5/10


Aaron James Waters is a best-selling Pulp Fiction writer who has written more books than he's actually read.

He's also the rotten apple of the group who thinks this whole Star Wars thing needs to hurry up and die already.

You can find all of Aaron's works on Amazon!






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