Wednesday 29 June 2011

Celebrity Twitters: The Predator

Landed safely. Looking forward to kicking back, getting back to nature, and adding a few skulls to the collection.

Pretty successful day, so far. Knocked down one of those ‘hellacopter’ things, and decided to try making some jerky.

You know one thing about making jerky? It’s really, really hard to keep the vultures off. Don’t teach you that in Home Ec, do they, eh?

It’s really hot down here.

Yeah, man, but it’s a dry heat! RT @acidforblood As hot as our place?

I’m pissed off, now. I went back to check on my jerky, and some insensitive pricks have chopped all the meat down. Heads shall roll.

Well, they won’t roll, but they will end up on my fucking shelf.

@acidforblood Will you let me deal with this my own way?

Man, these guys are pretty good. They just knocked over a whole village load of guys with guns. This will require cunning...

And guns, blades and an invisible suit.

Hey! That guy killed a scorpion and then just left it there! Skull-yoinkage!

Scorpions don’t have skulls, apparently.

Took down one of them already. Complete piece of piss. Boom, knocked him down like THAT. #imbatmanbitches

BTW, I upgraded my rifle this trip. It now has THREE red-dot laser sights, so it should be thrice as accurate!

You know, it doesn’t seem to make all that much difference. Weird.

These guys are getting crafty. Well...crafty meets hoping-I’m-going-to-get-crushed-by-a-giant-log. Nice try, guys.

I totally saw that net there, by the way. I just set it off because I didn’t want to dishearten them. I thought I’d be sporting.

Wow. Last time I saw a tree punch that hard I was watching “The Two Towers”.

Things have gone...*okay*. I’ve picked off three more of them – some well, some not so well.

Aw, man, I’ve got my suit all wet! These things never work properly after that.

Who designed these things? I mean, it’s not like we don’t have water back home.

Right, this massive, massive Austrian guy just disappeared. How does that happen?


He has. He’s totally gone. Ugly motherfucker.

There’s a big fire over there. I’m gonna go and investigate.

Words: Brad Harmer
You can become Brad's "friend" on Facebook, or you can "follow" him on Twitter. Depends how creepy you want to sound really.

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