Friday, 2 April 2010

E14 Exchange

Brad: Animated dental torture scenes on schoolgirls FTL.
Rob : …What?
Brad: I...really can't be more specific. What extra adjectives could you possibly require? It was a rear molar extraction...She was wearing a school uniform...The dentists kept the tooth and fondled it afterwards.
^ Terrifyingly, all true. We have to declare war on Japan.
Rob : Britain, or us personally?
Brad: I'm good with either. Bearing in mind that they have a culture based on a) sexual depravity (esp. focused on young girls) and b) being foreign; I'm amazed the Daily Mail haven't already started one.
Rob : Bizarrely, their newspapers display nudity, but rape is almost unheard of over there.
Brad: Makes sense. If you can see tits readily enough, you're not going to run the risk of being maced to see a pair.
Rob : Yeah, exactly.
Brad: Now the dentist is a monster who grows dental implement weilding tentacles from his back. I am so envious of you, Blake and Charlie. You don't get shit like this...

Brad: I can be online tomorrow, if you want.
Rob : I'll pass tomorrow mate, Liz has got Uni early the next day.
Brad: How does that affect you?
Rob : I tend to stick to recording on nights where she hasn't got Uni. I'm using the net in her room, and she doesn't sleep well without me there for some reason. Bit lame, but ya know...
Brad: You guys...actually make me want to puke at times.
Rob : I know, it sounds a bit corny.
Brad: And cheesy.
Rob : Carroty.
Brad: Spermy.
Rob : The list depends on what you've eaten really.
Brad: Indeed. That was just a typo for...um...er...bacony.



Brad: How’s it going?
Rob : Left my job yesterday, but I’m optimistic that I’ll be back in work much quicker this time around.
Brad: Your overconfidence is your weakness…
Rob : Your faith in your fri…oh wait…
Brad: If it’s any consolation, I had February in the “Epic fail” pool.
Rob : The what?
Brad: A few people were taking bets on when the next unfortunate event in your life would happen.
Rob : Oh, that’s a tremendous comfort. Out of interest, who had which other months?
Brad: Dude, I’m kidding, not even I’m that cruel.
Rob : I thought maybe you were, but I can never be sure.
Brad: All right fine, Ronnie had March.
Brad: I swear I’m going to do Natalie Portman one of these days.
Rob : If you do it and no-one’s around to hear it, does it still count?
Brad: Computer says “No”.
Rob : Dude, you don’t Google the question!
Brad: Well what other alternative is there? “Hotbotting” it?
Rob : Well…I…Fine.

Brad: Got much on at the moment?
Rob : Just job hunting and doing a few bits for Lizzie. Did you see the news by the way? Dennis Hopper's dying.
Brad: I'd like to believe that's not related to Lizzie's "To Do" list.
Rob : Christ no, the star of Super Mario Bros? I'd never be able to live with myself.
Brad: Get bread, milk. Clean bath. Wash up. Poison that guy from Blue Velvet.
Rob : I managed to cut my head open in the lamest way possible today.
Brad: Go on.
Rob : Well, what do you consider the lamest way first?
Brad: Smacking yourself in the face with a kitchen cupboard?
Rob : Alright, the second lamest then. I walked into a "To Let" sign that was dangerously low.
Brad: That's not too bad. You're 6'7". Most things are dangerously low. Your blood pressure, for instance.





No comments:

Post a comment