Tuesday 24 October 2017

Aaron’s spoiler-free review of "Split"

Now, what can we say about M. Night Shyamalan that doesn’t make us shake our heads or roll our eyes? The man made two masterpieces almost 20 years ago, and then treated us to what seemed like a never-ending conveyer belt of shit sandwiches. Seriously, let’s take a look at the rundown for a second (in no particular order):

  • Signs
  • The Village
  • The Last Airbender
  • After Earth
  • Devil
  • The Happening
  • Lady in the Water
  • Stuart Little
  • The Visit

See that? That’s not good! That is bad! That is embarrassing! It’s so bad, in fact, that people now refer to strange turns of events or something going from good to shit as a “Shyamalan twist”, and I’m not even making that up!

However, after the arrival of Split, everyone stared saying “He’s back, baby!” This piqued my interest to say the least! How he can top The Sixth Sense or Unbreakable is still yet to be seen, but I thought I’d give Split a go with an open mind and zero scepticism, and here’s what happened.

I was disappointed.

Yup, sorry to say it, but M. Night pulled an M. Night on this one I’m afraid. Is it better than the rest of the shit he’s pulled out over the last 15 years? You bet your arse it is! Is it good? No, not really, and I wonder if it’s the former that makes me wonder if that’s why everyone’s point of view seems so different to mine. Here’s a rundown!

Three teenage girls are abducted by a man who has 23 personalities, and each of them talk about feeding the girls to a 24th personality known as “The Beast”. Pretty cool, right? I thought so.

Now, James McAvoy, who plays our mental antagonist, is absolutely fucking brilliant! Seriously, I'll give credit where it’s due! It’s the performance of his career! Bravo, good sir!

Also, our leading lady Anya Taylor-Joy is also incredible! In fact, there is nothing wrong with the cast at all (unless you include M. Night’s cringingly awful cameo, as per his modus operandi, or "as per fucking usual" to those not fond of the ol' Latin). It’s just the film that’s, while not bad, just not very good.

There was a lot here that could’ve been done, but just seems it didn’t do any of it because it couldn’t be bothered, which is a shame because it really did have the potential.

Aaron's Spoiler-Free Verdict: Once again, in true M. Night Shania-Twain fashion, it was executed poorly. 4.5/10

Aaron James Waters is a best-selling Pulp Fiction writer who has written more books than he's actually read.

He's also the rotten apple of the group who thinks this whole Star Wars thing needs to hurry up and die already.

You can find Aaron's debut novel on Amazon!

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