Saturday, 21 May 2011

DVD Reviews

Family Guy Season 10
Starring: Seth MacFarlane, Alex Borstein, Seth Green
20th Century Fox Home Entertainment

Available now – RRP £24.99 (DVD)
Review by Blake Harmer

Family Guy is back with yet more surreal and gross out humour, with this series containing the show’s 150th episode, has the series managed to become less hit and miss than it has been over the last few series?

Thankfully the answer is yes. The series has some very strong episodes that are full of laughs. Particular highlights include an episode where Peter thinks he is psychic and calls upon the spirit of Lou Costello to help the police find a bomb, and an episode where Peter loses his memory and shows a sex scene being re-enacted by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and two action figures. Also, the 150th episode, whilst funny, also advances Brian and Stewie’s characters and their relationship together and it is surprising to actually see a meaningful episode in Family Guy for a change to all the fart jokes.

However, there are still weak episodes in this series that stops this from being a complete return to form, with some jokes seeming to just try and gross you out for the sake of being offensive rather than actually being funny at times. However, these moments are less frequent than those found in series 9.

With this increase in quality from series 9, it still looks like there is life in Family Guy even after 150 episodes. Let’s just hope that the show keeps improving and return to its original form as being one of the funniest adult cartoons ever made.

The Emotionally Fourteen Rating
: Some more gory moments than in previous series, but these are still played for laughs as a form of gross out humour.
Sex/Nudity: Some but bits are normally covered up, there is a great scene where Dwayne Johnson re-enacts Lois and Peter having sex.
Swearing: Lots of heavy swearing as with previous seasons, but used for comedy.
Summary: Despite a few weak episodes, this is still a marked improvement on series 9 overall, and is still worth getting if you still love your Family Guy. 8/10

The Blood Reich: Bloodrayne 3
Director: Uwe Boll
Starring: Natassia Malthe, Clint Howard
Metrodome Distribution
Available now – RRP £8.99 (DVD)
Review by Blake Harmer

Yes that’s right my fellow E14ies, Uwe Boll has bestowed upon us yet another straight to DVD turd of a video game movie. However, this most recent film at least stays more faithful to the original game by actually having Rayne square off against Nazi’s unlike being set in medieval times and the Wild West like in previous movies. BloodRayne 3 follows Rayne, a Dhampir (read: Day-walking Vampire) who is out to stop an evil Nazi Commandant and doctor who wish to give Rayne’s blood to Hitler so he becomes a super powerful vampire to aid him in conquering the world and winning the war.

The silly plot is the least of this film’s problems. The acting is at best wooden and at worst atrocious, with any emotion that is shown being over the top. The editing is really bad leaving the viewer confused at times, especially as at times the characters refer to events that you didn’t even seen. Why this wasn’t shown is beyond me, especially as the running time is under 70 minutes so it wasn’t even like they had time constraints.

If there is anything good to say about BloodRayne 3, it is that the effects aren’t too bad considering the film’s low budget, and that Rayne gets her boobs out quite frequently. However, if you are watching this for the sex scenes then you are probably better off with porn, especially as the acting would be better.

The Emotionally Fourteen Rating
: Plenty of blood and death although aside from a couple of gory bits where you see intestines and a character’s head is crushed with a rock, not much is really shown.
Sex/Nudity: Rayne seems to like getting her kit off at any opportune moment, and there are a couple of sex scenes.
Swearing: A fair amount, but not over the top like some action/horror films.
Summary: As to be expected with most of Uwe Boll’s back catalogue, this is an atrocious mess of a movie. And whilst this isn’t the worst of his movies that I have seen, there isn’t much here to recommend to vampire fans unless you want an expensive coaster, or a film to mock the bad acting in. 2/10

Tower of Druaga: The Complete Series
Starring: Kenn, Fumiko Orikasa, Risa Hayamizu
Available now – RRP £28.99 (DVD)
Review by Blake Harmer

Based on the fantasy arcade game from the 80′s, the story follows Jil, a young boy who wishes to climb the top of the tower, destroy the evil demon Druaga and become a hero. However, once he sets up his party and sets on his quest, it seems the other heroes in the party have their own motives.

Tower of Druaga is obviously played for laughs and on this level it accomplishes this very well, with the humour actually being funny unlike most anime where it becomes incredibly tedious and annoying (Disgaea, I’m looking at you). Fans of the original videogame will also be pleased to see some pretty good references, such as one episode where it shows the other heroes directing Jil through a maze using an arcade machine, and having to put more coins in every time he dies. To be honest, this could have been a good children’s show if it wasn’t for the occasional swearing and a couple of dodgy tentacle related traps. There is plenty of jokes and fantasy action to keep everyone thrilled even if you never experienced the game.

The series isn’t perfect though, some jokes feel a bit overused at times and there are a few moments where it does descend into traditional anime humour (read: crap). It also takes a few episodes for the show to really get going so it may not hook you in straightaway. However, if you like over the top action that keeps it fun, you can’t really go much wrong with this as long as you can overlook these flaws.

The Emotionally Fourteen Rating
: Some over the top fight scenes but there is very little blood with most people shown to pass out or just be completely obliterated, think Dragonball Z and this is about as violent as this gets.
Sex/Nudity: A couple of dodgy bits involving tentacles but nothing is actually shown (thank Christ).
Swearing: Some swearing, but not too over the top.
Summary: Whilst fans of the game will love Tower of Druaga for its faithfulness to the franchise, other anime lovers will still enjoy this for some good fantasy action with some good comedic moments thrown in for good measure. 7/10

WWE: Royal Rumble 2011
Starring: John Cena, CM Punk, Edge

Available now – RRP £17.99 (DVD), £24.99 (Blu-Ray)
Review by Omer Ibrahim

The road to Wrestlemania begins, as it does every year, with the over-the-top-rope spectacular that is the Royal Rumble. Every Rumble has traditionally had 30 entrants, but 2011 introduces history’s largest match, with 40 contestants. Unfortunately, one of them is John “Cartoon Superhero” Cena.

In the opener, Edge defends his World Heavyweight Title against Dolph Ziggler, in a match in which he is banned from using his Spear. Ziggler steps up to the plate well, which is a promising development. As good as the “banning a move” stipulation is at getting a wrestler over at being more than a one-move-pony, it is completely wasted. At one point, the ref goes down and Edge hits a spear anyway. Great match, but a waste of effort.

In the night’s second outing, Randy Orton attempts to wrestle the WWE Championship away from The Miz. As much-improved as I think these two have become recently, this match is amazingly boring, as if they planned the match using a template.

Next up is a match for the WWE Women’s Championship. I think this match either started out as a triple threat or handicap match between Natalya, Layla and Michelle McCool, but Eve was added to the match. The crowd were clearly surprised. So much so that they were shocked into silence. Bored, bored silence.

And now, the 40 man Royal Rumble match. Some of the performances in this were breathtaking. The Daniel Bryan/CM Punk/William Regal exchanges were, in my opinion, stunning. CM Punk’s facial reactions and charisma may have been the best part of the match. If they weren’t, then it was the surprise returns of Booker T and Kevin “Diesel” Nash. The crowd lapped up both guys, and they were given the right amount of exposure. Also worth a mention is John Morrison’s incredible sequence as he was knocked from the apron, but caught on to the crowd barrier, thus not touching the floor, and leapt back into the ring.

This being said, it wasn’t the perfect Rumble. For one, Hornswoggle was in it, and stayed in it for nine minutes and thirty-nine fucking seconds, which is about 10 minutes too long. His appearance was so bad, it broke my maths.

The other main shit-fest of the match was the aforementioned Mr. Cena. Picture the scene: CM Punk has somehow gathered his New Nexus stable and they’ve cleared the ring. One after another, wrestlers are decimated by the sheer force of the group. They eliminated, without pause, “The World’s Strongest Man” Mark Henry, JTG, Chris Masters, Tyler Reks, Vladimir Koslov and R-Truth. After a struggle they send the 7’6” Punjabi Nightmare, The Great Khali packing. They even massacre the returning Booker T, after a brief glimmer of hope. Then, a tornado sweeps through the ring and standing in the center of it is Superman! The man of steel is impervious to the dastardly group’s attacks, as he sends them sailing out of the arena.



Sheamus kicks a midget really hard in the face. It was fucking hilarious.

The Emotionally Fourteen Rating:
: A ginger Irish bloke kicks an Irish midget in the face.
Sex/Nudity: Nope.
Swearing: Nope.
Summary: Lacklustre matches support a brilliant main event, but with its weaker moments. Rumbles are always fun, so if you haven’t seen this, try it. (There’s this bit where a midget gets kicked in the face.) 7/10


The huge success of the Fighting Fantasy gamebooks spawned, in 1989, a full-blown role-playing game based upon the same fantasy world. Originally published as three separate books, this classic game has now been revised, re-written and re-released for a new generation of gamers. Revised rules, brand new material and original illustrations combine to make this a classic RPG for the modern age.

The new version of Advanced Fighting Fantasy is perfect for original fans of the game, experienced roleplayers new to Fighting Fantasy and is ideal for those new to roleplaying. Onwards to adventure!

Thanks to our friends at Cubicle 7, we've got a copy of not just the Advanced Fighting Fantasy core rulebook, but also the classic sourcebook Titan, and the bestiary Out of the Pit to give away in an amazing Fighting Fantasy Bundle! For your chance of winning, send your name to before midday on Saturday 28th May, making sure to put "Advanced Fighting Fantasy" as the subject. The first entry out of the electronic hat after the competition closes will receive a free copy!

Don't forget to put "Advanced Fighting Fantasy" in the subject line. Incorrectly labelled or blank entries will be discarded.

Advanced Fighting Fantasy, Out of the Pit and Titan are available now from Cubicle 7, priced from £16.99.

Entries limited to one per household. Offer open only to postal addresses in the UK and Ireland.

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