Book Reviews

Raven: Sons of Thunder
Giles Kristian
Transworld
Available Now - £6.99 (Paperback)
Review by Brad Harmer

If you betray a Fellowship you are a dead man, and Ealdorman Ealdred of Wessex has betrayed Sigurd and his Wolfpack. With revenge on their minds, Raven and friends plough the sea road in pursuit of the traitor Ealdred. Having left the Fellowship for dead, the ealdorman has sailed in search of the Frankish Emperor Charlemagne and the promise of riches beyond his imagining. In following Ealdred, Raven and his sword-brothers find themselves in the heart of a Christian empire that would wipe their kind from the face of the earth. And danger waits round every bend of the great river up which they travel - Sigurd will fight for his life while Raven will be betrayed, imprisoned and left to rot...

Told from the perspective of Raven, the youngest of the Viking warriors, this sequel to Raven: Blood-Eye carries on straight from where the first book left off, and it sets a relentless pace from the start. In fact, the action only really holds off in these books for a bit of bonking.

The characters are developed really well in this novel, especially the snivelling Ealdred and bold leader Sigurd. The Wolfpack have to learn to fight with their brains as well as their weapons in this novel, and it makes for a very interesting read. If you’re into historical fiction, or even if you just like to crank up the Turisas every now and again, Raven: Sons of Thunder is a great read...although you do definitely need to have read the original first. There’s not even a recap for people (like me) who read the original when it first came out, and may find their memory a little hazy for the first fifty pages or so.

Simply put, if you’re a fan already, this is everything that you could possibly have wanted from a sequel to Raven: Blood Eye. If not...you’ll want to get on board.

The Emotionally Fourteen Rating
Violence: Frequent, gory, realistic violence, including detailed description of injuries sustained.
Sex/Nudity: Infrequent, but strong.
Swearing: Frequent and strong.
Summary: A great historical fiction novel that delivers exactly what you want from a sequel to Raven: Blood Eye. Meaty, meady...Hell you could do a lot worse than making the Raven novels your summer holiday reading this year! 9/10

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Warhammer 40,000 – Savage Scars: A White Scars Novel
Andy Hoare
Black Library/Games Workshop
Available Now - £7.99 (Paperback)
Review by Brad Harmer

Dal'yth. The forces of the Greater Good have established a strangehold on the planet, and the time has come for the Imperium to move against them. The White Scars lead the ground assault against the tau, launching into combat with speed and fury, shedding blood as they gain ground against their enemies. Meanwhile, the members of the Crusade Council are determined to pursue their own agendas, and their politicking and back-stabbing will place the entire war effort in jeopardy. But little do they know that Inquisitor Grand has more extreme measures in mind, and the White Scars must achieve victory quickly or the cost to Dal'yth will be devastating.

Savage Scars may be the most action-packed of all the Warhammer 40,000 novels that I have encountered. There’s gun-battle after gun-battle after melee after explosion. If you want action, then this is the place for you. It’s fantastically well-written too, with some great descriptive passages, juxtaposed with some crushingly brutal death scenes. What’s more, you get to see the Titans go to war in this one, and that’s some that, frankly, doesn’t happen enough in these books.

Unfortunately, this dedication to non-stop action is both its blessing and its curse. The story is so formulaic that anyone who’s read a handful of Warhammer 40,000 novels prior to this will be able to predict how it’s all going to end long before the 100 page mark. The plot is desperately tired and formulaic, and I can’t help but wonder if it’s time for a bit of a shake-up at Black Library, to bring some new ideas in.

If you want a quick, brainless, bolt-gun loaded read, then this is worth picking up; or if you want a good representation of the bulk of the canon, then this is a good example to pick up. If you’re a fan already, though...then there’s nothing here that you don’t already own, with the heads swapped around.

The Emotionally Fourteen Rating
Violence: Oh, my, yes. Gunfire, explosions, Space Marine Dreadnoughts being involved in close combat, Titan warfare, knife combat, unarmed combat, extreme blood and gore.
Sex/Nudity: Partial female nudity.
Swearing: None.
Summary: The individual scenes are enjoyable, but it all gets a little samey by the end. Cramming the entire plot into the last fifty pages doesn’t exactly help, either. 5/10

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Mercy Burns
Keri Arthur
Little, Brown
Available Now - £7.99 (Paperback)
Review by Charlotte Barnes

Half dragon, half woman, can she save her friend's soul - without losing her heart? Mercy Wilson is a reporter in the San Francisco Bay Area, but she's also more - and less - than human. Half woman, half air dragon, she's a 'draman' - unable to shift shape but still able to unleash fiery energy. Now something will put her powers to the test. Mercy's friend Rainey has enlisted her help to solve her sister's murder. Then a horrible accident claims Rainey's life, leaving Mercy only five days to find the killer. If Mercy fails, according to dragon law, Rainey's soul will be doomed to roam the earth for eternity. But how can Mercy help when she herself is a target? With nowhere else to turn, she must join forces with a sexy stranger - the mysterious man they call 'Muerte', or death itself, who's as irresistible as he is treacherous. But can even Death keep Mercy alive for long enough to find her answers?

Now, I would never claim that this book is a masterpiece and change my perspective on all paranormal novels, but I can say that I found it as addictive as Cadbury’s Nibbles (normally one would say “crack” at this point in the sentence, however, as I have yet to try crack, I have to use an alternative yet very addictive substance to substitute it with). I liked the idea of human/dragon shape-shifters (mainly because when I grow up I want to be one), the outline of the story was compelling and the characters were well fleshed out.

The only thing that really bothered me was the rushed ending; we have seen the two protagonists who are feisty and independent and their love/hate relationship develop and the ending does not do justice to the internal conflict that has been so evident throughout the earlier parts of the novel. It would have been nice to have had a couple more chapters to really flesh out the final part of the book.

The Emotionally Fourteen Rating
Violence: Frequently referred to, however, it is about a PG13 in execution.
Sex/Nudity: Plenty, knobbing is a favourite pass-time of this novel...I’m not complaining though!
Swearing: Moderate.
Summary: A great easy read, something light that can whet the pallet and ridiculously addictive to read. 7/10

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ICE COLD IN ALEX GIVEAWAY

This classic World War II drama stars John Mills as an ambulance driver who escapes the siege of Tobruk in the company of a sergeant major, a nurse and a South African officer who has become separated from his unit. Suspicions arise about whether one of the group is a German spy who is undermining their attempt to reach safety. The film is most famous for its scene in which Captain Anson (Mills) finally gets to drink his 'ice cold' beer in Alexandria.

Thanks to our friends at Optimum Releasing, we've got three copies of Ice Cold in Alex on Blu-ray to give away! For your chance of winning, send your name to emotionally14@hotmail.co.uk before midday on Tuesday 14th June, making sure to put "Ice Cold in Alex" as the subject. The first three entries out of the electronic hat after the competition closes will receive a free copy!

Don't forget to put "Ice Cold in Alex" in the subject line. Incorrectly labelled or blank entries will be discarded.

Ice Cold in Alex is available from Monday 13th June.

Entries limited to one per household. Offer open only to postal addresses in the UK and Ireland.

E14 Top 5's - LEGO Games We'd Like To See

LEGO games. There’s been a fair few of them, but they all manage to be fun. LEGO: Pirates of the Caribbean was the most recent one, which I enjoyed recently. There’s inevitably going to be a game based on the final three Harry Potter movies, but what else is there to do? Have they run out of ideas? Today, E14 casts aside all notion of reality and fantasises on what the LEGO franchise could see next in its catalogue.

LEGO: The Matrix

This one would satisfy some of the unspoken criteria of a LEGO game. The original Matrix trilogy has (obviously) three movies to work from, as well as the Animatrix, which could work really well as bonus content or the fourth chapter that seems to be finding its way into a couple of LEGO games recently (most notably LEGO Harry Potter and LEGO: Pirates of the Caribbean).

Covering all three movies would be a big task indeed, but there’s plenty of action footage that they can use. From the first film alone, there’s Neo’s escape from the Agents at the beginning of the movie, which could be handled very well by the bods at Traveller’s Tales. There’s Neo’s actual training with Morpheus inside the Construct (see, I learned all my fancy lingo to write this – impressed? No? Fair enough), which would make for an entertaining level, particularly if the usual blend of LEGO humour was infused into the game. The game could then round off with a two-part level covering the rescue of Morpheus followed by the final titanic battle with Agent Smith.

One thing that sets this idea apart from some of the others that follow is that this game could make great use of some altered reality gameplay mechanics, which haven’t really been tried in LEGO games before. True, there’s Han Solo’s spinning dodge in LEGO: Star Wars II, which allows him to deflect and return blaster fire, so they could always modify that. Plus they’ve had double-jumping characters in almost all of their games, so it’s not a tremendous leap of faith to think that these mechanics could be serviced for a LEGO: The Matrix game.

LEGO: Spider-Man

A bit of an obvious one to go the way of comics, considering that LEGO: Batman was such a popular game (and is hailed by a lot of people I know as the best one). Part of the reason it’s so popular could be down to the fact that it takes familiar characters from the universe and writes a brand new (if not entirely deep) storyline allowing you to meet the villains of the game one after the other. A Spider-Man game could work really well in the same regard, if for no other reason than web-slinging would be awesome, and a big open-world main hub which you can swing around would be…more awesome.

However, they could just as easily make a game based on the Spider-Man movies which would have plenty of material for a LEGO game. Three movies with plenty of action set-pieces to get you engaged. Even more exciting as an idea for me personally, though, would be a game which merges the comic book world and the movie trilogy canon, giving you some set pieces from the movies as levels, and then filling them out with comic-inspired villains and quests. If the game versions of the Spider-Man series do anything, they prove that going outside the film’s comfort zone can result in a very enjoyable game (and one of my regrets from last generation is that I didn’t get a chance to have a proper go with the Spider-Man 2 game).

LEGO: James Bond
This is a series that I’m amazed has not been even hinted at as one that they’re working on. With one of the richest histories of any film franchises ever, the James Bond franchise has over 20 movies to reference and does pretty much everything that the LEGO games has been known for, while at the same time offering development opportunities for brand new gameplay mechanics that have thus far not been tinkered with in any significant depth.

The obvious bits that James Bond films have, which lend themselves well to the LEGO series, are the gunplay, the unarmed combat sections and plenty of driving in fast cars. Girls, though a fixture of the series, are not really something that can be reproduced accurately in a LEGO game, save for the addition of a button which allows you to make them swoon or maybe sweep them off their feet.

The stuff that they haven’t really done in the past in any significant depth is the stealth stuff, and this would be a great opportunity to develop the series in a new direction. Characters could follow a set path, and wait at specific times to miss the patrols of enemy soldiers. It doesn’t sound particularly exciting, granted, but if they incorporated it into levels amongst scenes of a more action-packed nature, then it could work really well to break up the action.

Some of the movies that I’d like to see incorporated into a LEGO game include:
Dr. No, simply for the game’s tropical setting (and I have a guilty wish to see the iconic Ursula Andress bikini scene done in LEGO form, purely for morbid curiosity’s sake).
Goldfinger, if for no other reason than its iconic status as one of the classic Bond movies associated with the character. Plus the scene with the laser would be cool.
Goldeneye, because I think at their core, *everyone* wants to drive a LEGO tank through St. Petersburg.

LEGO: Alien vs LEGO: Predator

Here’s one that I know for a fact Brad agrees with, as when I told him I was writing it up, he revealed that he’s been hoping for one of these games since the first LEGO: Star Wars was released. In terms of likelihood, regrettably it’s probably one of the most unlikely, as the series tends to go with the more family-friendly franchises. However, it’s genuinely a shame, as there is plenty of scope to make this one of the biggest games in the history of the series (besides maybe LEGO: Star Wars – The Complete Saga, which added all six films and some extra Bounty Hunter missions).

Merging everything of the Alien franchise, the Predator franchise and then the Alien Vs Predator franchise (hence the use of LEGO twice in the name of the game – clever, eh? Thought I’d fucked up? How dare you…), the game could encompass the very best bits from up to NINE films and bring it all together into one big fuck-off game (or two or three normal-sized LEGO games).

And while we’re browsing the fantasy catalogue, why don’t we expand the scope of the game even further and follow the game series? Why not add in separate Alien, Predator and Marine campaigns in order to fully flesh out the world? Exciting, eh? Somewhere in the world, Brad just jizzed in his pants, and doesn’t know why (though he suspects, I’m sure, that it’s related in some way to AVP).

LEGO: Sherlock Holmes

This is a bit of a departure from the usual series model, but I really think that if it was a smaller downloadable game, like an Xbox Live Arcade title or a Playstation Network game, a LEGO detective game could work really well. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a Sherlock Holmes game, I just think that it would make the most sense to be a recognisable character, though I could quite happily buy a game simply entitled LEGO: Detectives.

Obviously, the LEGO series is all about simplifying the usual mechanics of games, in order to make them accessible. Applying this to detective games could work really well, as identifying a murder victim (or just someone with their head popped off, as LEGO would undoubtedly do), would consist purely of matching eyes, smiles and skin colours to the database of a local town or something along those lines. One could process evidence either using mini-games or just through questioning in the same vein as L.A. Noire.

Also, the game would lend itself well to DLC if the series caught on. Much in the same vein as PSN downloadable game Blue Toad Murder Files, which has six total episodes (and is totally fucking awesome if you haven’t already played it), the series could be expanded upon with new cases very simply once the engine was in place. Plus, if it did turn out to be a Sherlock Holmes game, you could mix up your cocaine using a mini-game.

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THE CRUEL SEA GIVEAWAY

The novel The Cruel Sea by Nicholas Monserrat was an unflinching portrayal of life at sea during WWII on a boat tasked with protecting convoys and seeking and destroying U-boats. A runaway success, the novel had already sold over 4 million copies in just 2 years when Ealing decided to make the film version.

Filmed aboard an actual Royal Navy corvette, The Cruel Sea tells the story of the sailors aboard the HMS Compass Rose: the bonds that form between them, the daily pressures they face and their epic struggle to overcome the enemy. Nominated for a BAFTA for Best British Film, The Cruel Sea stars Jack Hawkins, Sir Donald Sinden and Stanley Clarke, and is a gripping insight into the lives of unsung heroes at sea during the war, and the agonizing decisions and incredible peril they faced on a daily basis.

Thanks to our friends at optimum Releasing, we've got three copies of The Cruel Sea on Blu-ray to give away! For your chance of winning, send your name to emotionally14@hotmail.co.uk before midday on Monday 13th June, making sure to put "The Cruel Sea" as the subject. The first three entries out of the electronic hat after the competition closes will receive a free copy!

Don't forget to put "The Cruel Sea" in the subject line. Incorrectly labelled or blank entries will be discarded.

The Cruel Sea is available from Monday 13th June.

Entries limited to one per household. Offer open only to postal addresses in the UK and Ireland.

DVD Reviews

The Mechanic
Director: Simon West
Starring: Jason Statham, Ben Foster, Donald Sutherland
Momentum Pictures
Available from Monday 6th June
Review by Rob Wade

Arthur Bishop is “The Mechanic” – an elite agency assassin with a unique talent for cleanly eliminating targets with deadly skill and total emotional detachment. The only relationship in his life is with his mentor and good friend Harry Mckenna. When the agency forces Bishop to kill Harry following rumours of a leak within the team, The Mechanic sets out on a self-imposed assignment to take down those responsible and avenge his mentor’s death, while at the same time forming a deadly partnership with Harry’s vengeful son Steve…

Say what you like about Jason Statham (and a lot of people on the Internet would probably have precious little to do without doing so), but he is known for one thing: making movies that would certainly fall into the category of E14, in that they contain an abundance of guns, explosions, swearing and usually tits and sex. In this case, The Mechanic ticks all of those boxes in a big way. How, though, is the movie as a movie, ignoring the awesome stuff we come to expect from Statham’s movies? The answer is surprisingly positive. The Mechanic, while not doing anything massively involved or deep in the way of storyline, is a really enjoyable movie.

One of the criticisms that often befall movies starring Jason Statham is that he plays the same character in every single film he does. Now, granted, there is *some* weight to that argument, but one could argue the same of John Cusack, and he’s awesome, so that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Besides, filmmakers are obviously becoming wise to this, and Statham’s character is a man of few words and even fewer moments of emotion. In the case of this movie, it fits really well, and actually makes Bishop a much more believable character as a result. Statham plays him particularly well, with a subtle layer of regret tucked away very deep below the surface of a cold-hearted bastard. The movie also has an element of the classic Leon about it, in that the protagonist begins to make more mistakes from taking an orphan under their wing.

The star of the show, though, is Ben Foster, who plays Mckenna’s troubled son, trying to come to terms with his father’s death while at the same time trying to make him proud posthumously by taking revenge on his father’s killer. Foster is an actor who’s shown his calibre in previous movies like Hostage and Pandorum, and it’s refreshing to continue to see him in films of this sort of level of fame, and long may it continue.

The revenge element of the story is one of the areas, however, where you’d be forgiven for thinking that the film would follow a predictable course, and to an extent it’s a fair assumption, though the ending of the film finishes on a high. Oh, and if you're making a movie called "The Mechanic", and everyone refers to Statham as "The Mechanic", it's probably a good idea to explain where the nickname comes from. I find it hard to believe that everyone in the movie knows that he's got a sports car he's been working on for years. Make no mistake, though: this is a totally enjoyable and watchable movie starring Jason Statham. There are increasingly high numbers of these.

The Emotionally Fourteen Rating
Violence: Shit-kickin’s, gun-shootin’s, a fire extinguisher pin to the face, a harpoon to the leg.
Sex/Nudity: Boobs and bums, a brief sex scene.
Swearing: “Fuck”, “Shit”, “motherfucker”. Sutherland is probably the most surprising pottymouth in this one.
Summary: A really E14, if a little predictable, action movie. Statham is the highlight here, as movie makers begin to put him in better roles he will only get more E14. 9/10

Fading of the Cries
Starring: Brad Dourif, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Mackenzie Rosman
Director: Brian A. Metcalf
Lions Gate
Available Now - £7.49 (DVD)
Review by Brad Harmer

“Jacob, a young man armed with a deadly sword, saves Sarah, a teenage girl, from Mathias (Brad Dourif), while in search of an ancient necklace that had belonged to Sarah's uncle. Jacob sets out to get Sarah home safely, running through streets, fields, churches and underground tunnels, while being pursued by hordes of demonic creatures. Along the way, both come to terms with the demons within themselves -Sarah begins to understand her hatred towards her mother and sister may be unjustified and Jacob discovers the secrets of his past, realizing the only way to truly defeat the demons is to return to the very place his family was murdered.”


That’s the back of the box, and if you think that’s a jumbled heap of confused characters, relationships and situations normally only seen during a Jeremy Kyle Show marathon, then I’m sure you can only just about begin to contemplate what the movie itself is like. It’s a well known fact of life that 80% of everything is crap, but when talking about fantasy movies, for some reason the stats rise to 95% (ie. everything made outside of the 1980s, with the exception of the The Lord of the Rings Trilogy and Stardust). Fading of the Cries does nothing to really help the genre.

The narrative leaps around from character to character and scene to scene with no regard for the audience. Every now and again Jacob and Sarah have to run from a horde of zombie/possessed people (they look just like tramps, to be honest), and there’s no action of excitement. Just mild confusion. The plot squirts and slides all over the place like someone stepping a paper-bag full very moist dog crap.

Oh, and finally, all of the characters in the movie seem to think that the word “Necromancer” is pronounced “neck-ROM-answer”. For fucks sake...this is why books are better than movies.

The Emotionally Fourteen Rating
Violence: Some kung-fu, sword fighting and other fantasy action sequences.
Sex/Nudity: None.
Swearing: None.
Summary: Nothing could save this movie from the pick-and-mix of its own editing. Scarily, though, it could have been worse. 2/10