Tuesday 20 September 2011

Book Reviews

Star Wars: Choices of One
Timothy Zahn

Available Now – Hardback (£18.99)
Review by Brad Harmer

Eight months after the Battle of Yavin, the Rebellion is in desperate need of a new base. So when Governor Ferrouz of Candoras Sector proposes an alliance, offering the Rebels sanctuary in return for protection against the alien warlord Nuso Esva, Luke, Leia, Han, and Chewie are sent to evaluate the deal. Mara Jade, the Emperor’s Hand, is also heading for Candoras, along with the five renegade stormtroopers known as the Hand of Judgment. Their mission: to punish Ferrouz’s treason and smash the Rebels for good. But in this treacherous game of betrayals within betrayals, a wild card is waiting to be played.

I was worried about Choices of One for the first hundred pages or so. The new characters didn’t really seem to add anything new to the series, and I’m getting more than a little jaded towards Star Wars novels in which all the characters are sent off to different planets and “oh, my god, what a coincidence” they all spend the bulk of the time on the same planet, blissfully unaware of each other until near the end.

Thankfully, by the half-way mark, things had really ramped up. The last time there were this many double-crossings and second-guessings was when I went up against a Sicilian when death was on the line. As the story gathers pace, it becomes a really great “Star Wars does spy/action” story, with some fantastic character development – especially for Han Solo and Luke Skywalker. Zahn’s great at nailing the movie characters anyway, but he’s really on form with this one.

The Emotionally Fourteen Rating
Frequent explosions, fist-fights, lightsaber combat and gunfire.
Sex/Nudity: None.
Swearing: None.
Summary: Another great Star Wars adventure from Timothy Zahn. A slightly slow start and a few plot ‘conveniences’ stop it from being perfect, but still highly enjoyable. 8/10


Can love prevail over sex, money, androids, and ninjas?

Erotibot is the latest film from the production company behind the powerful earth, shattering Big Tits Zombie & ultra bloody gorefest The Horny House of Horror.

Tamayo (Mahiro Aine) is so adorable! From the time she was small she has been treated as the ultimate princess! Tomayo, is heiress to her wealthy family's fortunes. In order to protect her from outside danger she is looked after by three android bodyguards. The first android is masterful and good looking. The second has beastlike strength, and the third is a clumsy misfit who can't seem to get anything right. He fantasises over his mistress and is adored by her. Together, the three androids help detect danger, and serve Tomayo during the day, and occasionally engage in after-dark 'bedroom protection' as well... Life is good!

Meanwhile another family member, Tsukiyo (Japanese AV star Maria Ozawa) who is jealous of Tomayo, hires a private detective to spy on her. He uncovers a dark secret that Tomayo is in fact the "bastard daughter" of a servant. When Tsukiyo discovers this, she is consumed by rage believing Tomayo to be an embarrassment to the family and not 'pure blood'. Along with her servant Azami (Robogeisha), she plots to regain the inheritance she believes to be hers! Can she distract the three Androids long enough to exact her plan?! Who will the Androids serve in the end?! Which Android will win Tamayo's love?!

Thanks to our friends at Bounty Films, we've got two copies of Erotibot to give away! For your chance of winning, send your name and full postal address to emotionally14@hotmail.co.uk before midday on Tuesday 27th September, making sure to put "Erotibot" as the subject. The first two entries out of the electronic hat after the competition closes will receive a copy of this awesome movie!

Don't forget to put "Erotibot" in the subject line. Incorrectly labelled or blank entries will be discarded.

Eortibot is available from Monday 26th September, courtesy of Bounty Films.

Entries limited to one per household. Offer open only to postal addresses in the UK and Ireland.

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