Friday 14 November 2008

Rob's Top 5's...

So I figured that I'd be a regular contributor to this blog, but then this game came out. Maybe you've heard of it, it's called Fallout 3. Since then, every waking second I can muster has been spent playing the game. However, this is the kind of game that you can spend hours on without making any real progress.

Remember how it felt to first travel into the City on Oblivion and admire all the architecture and the sheer scale of it?

Remember how it still felt like you hadn't really scratched the surface because you had spent five hours real-time wandering around the city trying to jump perfectly onto people's heads and following shop keepers to the pub? Well, I do.

To say I have a short attention span is like saying Gary Glitter was a *little* out of line when he fucked those kids. Speaking of which, has anyone seen the furore over teaching Gary Glitter at GCSE Music level because of his crimes? If you're going to be indignant, just use the fact that his music is fucking awful. It really holds enough weight.

Anyway, here is my Fallout 3 themed top 5 this week, entitled:

"Another Way to Die: 5 ways to humiliate and extinguish on Fallout 3"

The Magnum Backflip (I'm still annoyed I can't screen capture properly)

The most awesome thing about this one was that it was one of the first kills I performed on the game, while exploring a local school. Unfortunately for the Raider that copped my trigger-happy .32 pistol to the face, I was put slightly on edge by the fact that last time I had to explore an abandoned and eerily quiet school, it was in Silent Hill.

Laser Pistol to the face

Simple, but nonetheless awesome. The great thing about the laser pistol is its rapid rate of fire. Sorry, that's the second most awesome thing about it. The first is the pile of smouldering ash that it leaves where your foe used to be. The smouldering pile of ash, it should be added, also glows long after the victim dies. Instant win.

A Combat Shotgun at close range

This is possibly the most fun of the close combat weapons, due to its stopping power and large magazine. I unloaded the contents of a shotgun into a giant radioactive scorpion. All that remained was a fine red mist, with a vague desire to sting despite lacking the most basic stinging functions.


No real explanation necessary for this one. Grenades are fun in any action game. However, grenades are that much more fun in Fallout 3, simply because if they don't produce a killing blow, they pretty much cripple the victim in every limb. That is possibly the better victory, as you know they are inconvenienced for the rest of eternity, in a cruel wheelchair-inaccessible nuclear wasteland.

Robot Head Removal

For this one, I feel one simple mathematical equation should suffice.

Rob + Power Fist + Critical Hit = Robot - Head = Happy Rob.

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