You know that special feeling you get when you find a new band you really like? Or when you see a great film for the first time that you truly speaks to you; either because of a deep seated spiritual connection, or because it features a zombie fighting a shark?
Did you then talk to people about this new thing...pleased that you were the one who found it? It's a nice feeling, isn't it?
The Internet has given us many great things, but in this instance, it leads to two of life's greatest disappointments:
1) You are not the only person to have seen The Evil Dead/heard of White Zombie/read Preacher.
2) Most of the other people who like the same stuff of you are complete dicks.
What's more, you will find yourself disliking said item, because you do not want to be associated with the kind of people who do like it.
Here, culled from FaceBook (it's kind of like MySpace, only with a superiority complex), are some of the dumbest things ever said about the awesome things in your life. Warning: You may hate everything you have ever loved after reading this article.
Aliens
"with all the comic book crossover i have an idea for a darkhorse dynamite crossove freddy vs aliens vs jason vs predator vs ash vs terminator
the war between the aliens and the predator spills on to elm street so hell sends freddy and jason to deal with them freddy and jason risk endanger the future so the terminators are sent back to deal with them and ash of army of darkness gets involved because one of the predators wants that book as a trophy"
An American Werewolf In London
"my wife has never seen it, so going to make her watch it if baby is overdue haha"
Beavis and Butthead
"lol my gf's last namd is beavis lmfao"
Beef Jerky
"I LOVE Beef Jerky. I've been making it for more than 20 years. I love Beef Jerky so much, I started an ALL NATURAL Beef Jerky company."
(What wasn't natural about beef and time, anyway?)
Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds
"why did you master your last two albums so loud? the music is so good. but it hurts to listen to."
Father Ted
"FECK ARSE WOMAN!!!!! Love this show!!!"
"its feck arse girls, not woman"
Robert A. Heinlein
"Did 9/11 diminish the value of "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress"?""
Jack Daniel's Whiskey
"easy jack not seen you in a long time but i promis i will soon mate"
Pirates of the Caribbean
"I am from turkey...I am scanty to know english...many beautiful one film...yes captain Jack S...:d"
Relentless
"JUST WENT IN TO THE SHOP TO FING THERE IS A 4TH RELENTLESS OUT IT IS JUICED ENERGY BERRY FLAVOUR TAST WIKED YOU SHOULD ALL TRY WILL UPLOAD A PICTURE AFTER WORK"
"I have a Relentless Pyramid with 93 Cans yaaaay"
Robocop
"Robocop does not discriminate and neither should you Casis. Just because you are from London and Robocop doesnt defend you there is not reason for you to be a hater."
That 70s Show
"this show is me and my friends, were all there muhahaha gotta love it"
"I dont know what is it =$"
"they tried to make a that 80's show, but it was absoloutley terrible."
The Warriors
"MAN,IF U AINT WATCHED THIS MOVIE,THEN THEM PEOPLE AND U IS STUPID.IF U A MAN , THEN GET THEM MOVIES:THE WARRIORS AND OTHER GANG CLASSICS"
Did you then talk to people about this new thing...pleased that you were the one who found it? It's a nice feeling, isn't it?
The Internet has given us many great things, but in this instance, it leads to two of life's greatest disappointments:
1) You are not the only person to have seen The Evil Dead/heard of White Zombie/read Preacher.
2) Most of the other people who like the same stuff of you are complete dicks.
What's more, you will find yourself disliking said item, because you do not want to be associated with the kind of people who do like it.
Here, culled from FaceBook (it's kind of like MySpace, only with a superiority complex), are some of the dumbest things ever said about the awesome things in your life. Warning: You may hate everything you have ever loved after reading this article.
Aliens
"with all the comic book crossover i have an idea for a darkhorse dynamite crossove freddy vs aliens vs jason vs predator vs ash vs terminator
the war between the aliens and the predator spills on to elm street so hell sends freddy and jason to deal with them freddy and jason risk endanger the future so the terminators are sent back to deal with them and ash of army of darkness gets involved because one of the predators wants that book as a trophy"
An American Werewolf In London
"my wife has never seen it, so going to make her watch it if baby is overdue haha"
Beavis and Butthead
"lol my gf's last namd is beavis lmfao"
Beef Jerky
"I LOVE Beef Jerky. I've been making it for more than 20 years. I love Beef Jerky so much, I started an ALL NATURAL Beef Jerky company."
(What wasn't natural about beef and time, anyway?)
Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds
"why did you master your last two albums so loud? the music is so good. but it hurts to listen to."
Father Ted
"FECK ARSE WOMAN!!!!! Love this show!!!"
"its feck arse girls, not woman"
Robert A. Heinlein
"Did 9/11 diminish the value of "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress"?""
Jack Daniel's Whiskey
"easy jack not seen you in a long time but i promis i will soon mate"
Pirates of the Caribbean
"I am from turkey...I am scanty to know english...many beautiful one film...yes captain Jack S...:d"
Relentless
"JUST WENT IN TO THE SHOP TO FING THERE IS A 4TH RELENTLESS OUT IT IS JUICED ENERGY BERRY FLAVOUR TAST WIKED YOU SHOULD ALL TRY WILL UPLOAD A PICTURE AFTER WORK"
"I have a Relentless Pyramid with 93 Cans yaaaay"
Robocop
"Robocop does not discriminate and neither should you Casis. Just because you are from London and Robocop doesnt defend you there is not reason for you to be a hater."
That 70s Show
"this show is me and my friends, were all there muhahaha gotta love it"
"I dont know what is it =$"
"they tried to make a that 80's show, but it was absoloutley terrible."
The Warriors
"MAN,IF U AINT WATCHED THIS MOVIE,THEN THEM PEOPLE AND U IS STUPID.IF U A MAN , THEN GET THEM MOVIES:THE WARRIORS AND OTHER GANG CLASSICS"
Robocop: Not a hater
I know exactly what you mean with this whole 'guilt by association' business. The number of times I've discovered that Brad or Rob also like something that I've always loved and had to then reflect on the fact that, if THEY like it, it probably actually sucks... it's depressing, really.
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