Sunday 15 March 2009

Guilt By Association 2 - Guilt Harder

Inspired by Brad's example, I decided that in the true spirit of E14, I would add in some words of my own in hopes that our readers would have a better idea of what makes us collectively tick. Translated, that means "I intend to take what Brad wrote and try and do it better" (which unofficially is the true spirit of E14). To the interests!

Family Guy

"i get boners from family guy"

Tremendous, good for you... I'm glad that a fictional animated cartoon is sufficiently arousing to your phallus to cause increased blood flow and give you a stiff one. Shame that others are quick to encourage you so often, as a later post shows.

"if i had a dick i'd get a boner too"

Your parents must be so proud.

Incidentally, how is Family Guy allowed to get away with calling their narrative a "Plot Outline"? Don't get me wrong; I love Family Guy. That's why it's even in this section in the first place. However, it is far from being a narrative-driven show. Family Guy always struck me as a different type of TV show than, for example, The Simpsons. In my mind, this is how the two shows play out.

The Simpsons: "Hey, let's write an episode where Homer runs for the city Mayor's job. Along the way, he can do this, meet this person and have this happen to him. Ok, let's make this episode."

Family Guy: "Hey, you know what would really be funny? Watching Stewie take the role of Captain Kirk on the Enterprise, except he and George Takei are totally gay for each other, and then John Madden comes out and says 'FOOTBALL!'" They get about twelve of those together, and then go "Ok, make something out of that."


It's worth noting, incidentally, that Coca-Cola has over 3 million fans on Facebook alone. I am not *officially* one of them, however I would certainly say that I qualify for this group, perhaps even sufficiently to become an admin. After all, with all the Coke I drink, I probably control a majority stake in the company by now. Anyway, with my understanding of Coca-Cola being what it is, I'm still none the wiser as to why someone would write the following:

"Turkey Turkey Turkey Turkey"

See, I've approached it from almost every angle I can think of, and I cannot come up with anything, unless the person talking is telling us his favourite food to accompany his Coke. Four portions of turkey is probably enough to destroy one of his ventricles in one shot to be honest, and caffeine's certainly not going to help.

"I love my Coca/Cola! I would marry it, but I'm already married to my motorcycle!"

I think I saw a TV programme on people who do stuff like that to transport once. It didn't end well for the poor Ford Kia, and not much better for the man who went to an auto show and presumably came until he was internally barren.

Bill Hicks

"Someone should make a group called "The people who hate people club". I would join it."

...And defeat it's reason for existence? See, I considered doing something like this when at university. That, however, was for monetary gain. See, in Fresher's week, I went round the Societies Fair, trying to get an idea of the kind of societies I would be able to join (pretty much any that were cool and/or free). While I was browsing, I came to find out that anybody setting up a society would be given a grant of £500 to set up the society and organise activities.

Armed with this knowledge, I intended to set up the Anti-Society. The beauty of it was that if I set up this society, nobody would be allowed to join it, only speak of it fondly. The difference, then, is that mine was for money, not for Facebook traffic, the ills of which I have spoken of enough, and will doubtlessly do so again soon.

1 comment:

  1. Isn't pointing out the idiocy of people who post on the Internet a great deal more like shooting fish in a barrel than shooting fish in a barrel? (Irony fully intended, here...)

    By the way, do you think you could possibly change the photograph of the pair of you in the 'contributers' section? It always makes me feel like I've accidentally stumbled upon the blog of two gay lovers (not that there's anything wrong with that, of course). Either change it to a photo' of the pair of you doing something slightly less gay (picking flowers or basket weaving, for instance) or just go the whole hog and post a photo of Rob being heartily bummed by Brad.