Tuesday 20 August 2013

Brad and Rob Talk....Star Wars: Episode VII

For fans of the Saga, the news recently has been rife with rumours and speculation about the future of the Star Wars series. Not to be outdone, and basing their opinions purely on their own experiences with the franchise, our very own Brad Harmer and Rob Wade decided to have a chat about what they want the movies to be about, as well as a bit of fantasy casting. Enjoy.

Rob : So Brad, what would you want Episode VII to be about?
Brad: A part of Star Wars that won't *fuck up* thirty-odd years of EU canon.
Rob : Go into more depth. What *won't* work?
Brad: I don't Solo or Skywalker families.
Rob : You accidentally a word there?
Brad: Sorry, *want Solo or Skywalker families.
Rob : I occasionally that.
Brad: I rarely to be fair.
Rob : Point.
Brad: Anyway, I don't want a superweapon.
Rob : Ok, so you can pretty much throw out 90% of the EU. Any particular reason? Because I feel like Darksaber would make a good movie.
Brad: I don't want cheeky, crass references to the original, like Abrams desperately buttfucked into the Star Trek remake.
Rob : Ok.
Brad: I started out really optimistic about it, but I am now pretty sure that it's going to be a clusterfuck.

Rob : So my original question remains. What would you make it about?
Brad: There's only one thing it can be about: Vader.
Rob : Alright.
Brad: The movies are Anakin's saga.
Rob : So Galactic Civil War? Specifically, the early days thereof?
Brad: No, it can be hundreds of years after, if it wants to. It just needs to revolve around Vader. Maybe he goes Exar Kun on someone.
Rob : Ahhh, ok. I was about to ask how you saw that working. See, this delivery method of story makes it difficult to ask my follow-up question.
Brad: Which was going to be what?
Rob : Casting it. So far, your cast is: Vader…
Brad: Yeah…
Rob : And some prick Vader is bothering.
Brad: Right.

Rob : Anyway, so who's your Vader?
Brad: James Earl Jones
Rob : ...Voice only?
Brad: Well, yeah...he'll be a Force Ghost, won't he?
Rob : So are you going to just have him in the armour...as a Force Ghost?
Brad: I guess.
Rob : Ok.
Brad: Or just a voice.
Rob : So who's he bothering?
Brad: Some bloke.
Rob : So who have you got in mind for said bloke?
Brad: No idea. What's your concept for Episode VII, then?
Rob : I'd like to see a movie dealing with the first stirrings of the Rebellion, sort of set between The Force Unleashed and A New Hope.
Brad: Right…
Rob : But focused on completely separate characters to the main story arc. So you can have your Lando Calrissians and your Bail Organas, but they're passing mentions or interactions.
Brad: That actually sounds good.

Rob : So maybe make the characters a group of rebels setting up/defending a base on a planet. Like that AWESOME episode of The Clone Wars where they're defending a base from the Separatists.
Brad: Yeah, that works. Unfortunately, it's glitching at ONE minor point for me.
Rob : Go for it.
Brad: Episode VII will come *after* Episode VI. They've said they're doing spin-offs, so your idea is valid. But not for whatever Episode VII will be.
Rob : Ahh right. Ok, so let me think…
Brad: Don’t strain yourself. This is all for fun.
Rob : There's a storyline that's not been done with regards to VI and EU. Boba Fett between Return of the Jedi and Dark Empire.
Brad: Ok
Rob : I can see that happening for three reasons:

  1. The Internet has a massive wanger on for Boba Fett.
  2. It's not been done before, and doesn't shit on the EU.
  3. Dengar.
Brad: Good move.

Rob : Ok, so let's work on the assumption that Episode VII deals with the Boba Fett storyline. Casting. Have we ever had anyone as Dengar, in terms of our own fantasy casting?
Brad: No.
Rob : Ok. Christoph Waltz.
Brad: That works.
Rob : I figure he needs to be more dialogue-heavy than in The Empire Strikes Back (for obvious reasons), and Waltz does dialogue really well. He has a good look that wouldn't look out of place in those robes either.
Brad: Ok, so Boba Fett?
Rob : We can probably just use the dude from AOTC. Temeura Morrison (Thanks IMDB!)
Brad: Works.
Rob : Right, so after 2 or so hours, we've got a Dengar/Boba Fett buddy movie.
Brad: *fistbump*
Rob : I...hang on. Ok, Chad says "Ship it".

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