Thursday 31 August 2017

Aaron's Classic Corner - August 2017

Howdy, y’all! That’s right, it’s been a month already and my oh my, look at all that’s happened! Loads! Just look at your month over your shoulder and think about all the stuff that’s happened around you! Mad innit?

Been a proper mental one has this August. So, without further Jews, allow me to tell you a little more about what it is I dig, starting with a Movie, then an Album, and then a Video Game! Because here at E14, that’s what we’re all about! That and sweet, sweet titties! So let’s bust this nut wide open and dig into the gooey, creamy centre with ravenous ferocity!


There’s not a lot that you can’t really love about this film. I mean, I'll shit in my beard if I can name one! This is another one of those movies which just seems to have it all!

A young ballerina is chucked into a Dance Academy (leotards and that) where there is more going on that meets the eye!

Now, I can’t say I’ve met many die-hard Horror fans who would disagree with me when I say Dario Argento is a fucking genius (unless you take this as an opportunity to be a fucking hipster and a twat, then fire away and more power to you), but for me, this is his pinnacle masterpiece!

It has everything: solid performances, an incredible soundtrack from the notorious Goblin, fantastic, vibrant shots, and a sense of unease that lasts throughout the entire movie until the credits finally roll. An absolute beast of a film that paved the way for modern Arthouse films and an inspiration and stepping off point for the Dogme 95 movement almost a whole two decades ahead of time. Pure genius.


I fucking love this album. It’s heavy, it’s melodic, it’s deep, it has a pinch of cheese for those of us who like to pump our fists, it has orchestral parts, the song structures aren’t boring (A,B,A,B,C,B,B and the like), and on top of all of this it has awesome lyrics and solos to match!

And even with all of its technicality, it still knows when to be laid back and not show off.

Plus, it has an awesome Simon & Garfunkel cover on it, years before those cancerous fuckheads in Disturbed decided to bastardise it.

So, yeah, this – for me, is definitely a desert Island disc, and my standout tracks have to be We Disintegrate, the fucking ground-shaking anthem The Heart Collector, and Evolution 169.


Man, I can’t even begin to tell you how many hours I spent in front of my computer playing this game. I think a good portion of my childhood was probably spent yelling “what’ll it be?!” when answering the phone.

Now, there are a million stealth games on the market now, but before AI really took off, we had Commandos. A point and click bird’s eye-view WWII strategy game, Commandos followed a small team of...well, Commandos, each with a special skill set. They would be set certain objectives and then given an escape point. Sounds simple, but it really wasn’t.

This game was revolutionary for its time and was a marvel to behold. You had to follow each of the sentry’s habits, watch out for spotlight, dogs, land mines, barbed wire, reinforcements, guard towers, alarms and fuck knows what else.

It was hard, but it was super fun, and I for one absolutely loved it.

So, that’s it from me this month from my Classic Corner, and feel free to tune in next month where we’ll be revealing more of my loves in life! Should be fun and I look forward to it!

Aaron James Waters is a best-selling Pulp Fiction writer who has written more books than he's actually read.

He's also the rotten apple of the group who thinks this whole Star Wars thing needs to hurry up and die already.

You can find Aaron's debut novel on Amazon!

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